Maui, New Puppy, Halloween oh MY!

Ok - so it has been a while. It just seems life catches up with you, then you get behind, then you get way behind trying to dig out --- then the task seems overwhelming. Life with a sassy, defiant, but charming 3 year old is never boring. Nor is it all that easy doing it alone. But, we take it a day at a time.

What has happened in the last 3 months? Well, princess woke up one day and said "I poopoo on the potty now" --- and we have never went back. That has been about 2 months now. I am over thrilled. Don't know the deciding factor for her --- but it was night and day. I was sick of poopy diapers. Now, of course --- the challenging side of all this is her fascination with EVERY public bathroom in the world. If anyone even says a word close to potty - she has to go. Though, some times she just wants to go and touch everything and see how grossed out and fussy I get.

We went to Maui in September. Had fun, but a little challenging (like the positive spin I use with this word?). (what I really want to say is traveling with a toddler on an 8 hour flight with no nap is like having a root canal, hysterectomy, and lobotomy without anesthesia --- -but I didn't want to sound so negative) I swore I'd never get on another airplane with her again........but like adoption paperwork, adoption waits, and 93 days in Ukraine - you soon forget the pain. (Or, did I miss the lobotomy?) We are headed to Ukraine in 3 weeks. I have been wanting to see my sponsored child in Kiev and visit friends. So, off we go. We are going with my friend in NY and her little boy --- and we can't wait to see them too. Gonna be an adventure with 2 toddlers on a 9 hour trip. Back to Maui - it was so awesome in lots of ways. The first time Zoey had waves come across her little feet --- she just giggled and screamed --- I got little tears just thinking where she came from and how well she has adjusted.

In early October - we got a new addition to the family. Brinks, our new doberman puppy. I think he was born bigger than Zoey is now - and now he about towers over us. And, he will only be 3 months old next week. He's gonna be big. But, we love him. The first couple of weeks were tough - he used Zoey as a chew toy --- but we have got him diverted now. Of course Spencer (my older cocker spaniel) probably has it out for me. I know he is thinking...... "first, the kid; now the puppy"!

Halloween was fun. This year - Zoey knew what to do and what to expect. It was fun watching her get the loot. Funny thing --- when she'd go to a house she'd say "trick or treating". She insisted on taking two bags, so we had the drama of which bag the candy goes in. Oye!

As for the adoption of #2 - I am putting that on hold for right now. I have been trying to sell the house - but with all the mortgage problems - things aren't moving these days. I did get an offer and waited it out --- but the buyers backed out 2 days before option period was up. So, right now we are taking a break. I know I am going to move --- so I will wait to see how things fall out before I start the process.

While in Ukraine - I will be blogging - but probably with no pictures till I get home. I am hoping for a fun visit. Since there will be no pressure from adopting or the sorts, it should be great. We are going back to Dnipropetrovs'k - to take the kids to visit the orphanage. I can't wait to see everyone there. I just can't believe it has been almost 2 years since I left for my adoption. My time flies.

Happy Thanksgiving to You all! More updates later.

Photos from Halloween and Brinks

Hands on Hips - her famous pose












Zoey and Brinks



















My angel at Halloween

Photos - Maui

Zoey in Maui














Zoey and Goma ready for the airport













Family at the Crater

Where Does the Time Go???

I can't believe today is August 1. Just yesterday it was May, Zoey's 3rd birthday, then surgery. (I had a complete hysterectomy for medical reasons on June 11 - but recovered really fast) I had 6 weeks off work for recovery (5 weeks of which rain fell all day). I had big plans to take Zoey to the water park and Zoo --- but it rained too much. So, basically I got a lot done around the house. I have my house on the market and hope to sell soon. I have found several houses I love and but have to wait until mine sells. I am going to move forward with the adoption of a second little girl after I get settled in to a new place. I have decided I am going to try Ukraine again. That is where my heart is and where my baby's heritage lies - so I have high hopes for her sibling to share that bond. So, off we go again! Once that time comes - I will open a blog for that child - because I am keeping the blog logs for their memory books.

Zoey meanwhile had her 3rd birthday check up. She is 24.4 lbs and 35.25 inches tall. My doctor says she is doing great and healthy as they come. I wish she weren't so stinking tiny. Potty training is not going that well. She will do #1 on the potty - but not #2. Also, she has a tendency to be hard-headed and just not go "cause I didn't want to". Her standard answer to anything these days is a roll of the eyes, shrug of the shoulders, and a "cause I didn't want to". Funny how when she has to go to her room and think things over - she all of a sudden wants to do whatever is being asked. How do they become so stubborn at 3?

Also, she comes home frequently and tells me she has a brother or sister. It changes daily. I always correct her and say sister. I don't think she really understands what a brother or sister entails (i.e. -- she will have to share me, her toys, her puppy, etc)

Here are some recent pictures. She is growing up before my very eyes.

Zoey wanted her picture taken in front of the flowers in the driveway on Sunday before church. I told her let's wait until mommy cleans out some weeds --- she didn't want to wait. How cute is this kid?

Picture Time

My friend Gladys and I took our kiddos to a 4th of July event near the house. It was a nice day - despite the downpour. It let up enough for us to take the kids to play a little.

Random Thoughts

You know - I have been involved in the adoption world for about 3 years --- and every six months it is something different. (Now the wait in line to submit dossier, quotas on the number of adoptions per year, singles can’t adopt, and parents can’t be 45 years older than the child.) My rational thinking can't reconcile why it is so hard to adopt kids - especially when there is such a need. (this doesn't just apply to Ukraine)

I also struggle with the what ifs (what if I had come home while waiting for my appointment; what if I had my appt on Dec 27, what if etc.....) I almost told the NAC on December 30, 2005 - I would come home and wait for an appointment. I know I never would have received one if I left the country. And, I'd be caught in the singles chaos. And, I wouldn't have the most perfect child on earth! :) It saddens me because I was hoping to get a sibling for Zoey from UA - so they would have the same heritage --- but it appears if I want a sibling - I will have to go to another country.

I get so upset when reading about the quota for dossiers and everyone having to update paperwork for the 6 month rule - which will most likely time out because of the waiting game. I can't believe it has come to this. What's more - I know and have seen the conditions these kids live in and though it varies --- it is mostly the same. Lack of attention, good nutrition, stimulation, love, healthcare, etc. I know some orphanages try their best --- but with all the kids and their needs – they usually don’t get met.

I have been researching other countries for Zoey a sibling. I hope to start the process soon after my surgery. Even with that – it will probably be late 2008 or early 2009 before I bring home another child. That will be fine. I am hoping for a girl – so I can re-use Zoey’s old clothing and toys --- but I am open to a boy this time. My first country of choice will be Kazakhstan, then Russia next.

God answered so many prayers for me (Praise be to HIM) while I was waiting for Zoey. Prayers I never knew he answered until I met her. (that she be taken care, fed, loved, happy) I believe her orphanage caretakers did the best they could with what they had. So, I pray now that he is with my next child to protect them before she/he gets to their new home and family.

Zoey is thriving. She just turned 3 – and her birthday party was rained out. So, after I am back up and feeling 100% - I am going to have a little party for her. We did a family thing - but nothing fancy.

May Day! (yes, that is an SOS call - and it is May)

Well, I was going to go private - but several of you griped about logging in - fine - I will keep the status quo. A lot has happened since the last time I blogged. We had Easter, our first plane ride since coming home from Ukraine (which I keep telling myself is the last - but low and behold I go booking more trips), and graduated to the 3s in preschool. WooHoo!

Last year at Easter - Zoey didn't know about that looking for the thingee -- but this year - sister fought for the eggs. She cracks me up. My cousins 2 kids came to my parents house and we let them hunt eggs, and Zoey decided when they set their baskets down --- that she had found more eggs (and you know a fight ensued). Anyway - was a nice day.

The weekend after Easter we went to Cincinnati, Ohio. We met up with our friends the Bottos from Kentucky (they live about 5 minutes from CN) who adopted a little girl out of Kiev and the Senkiw-Krebs family. Stefanie adopted Peter from the same orphanage as Zoey. We had an awesome weekend and it was so amazing to see how much these kids have grown and changed since Ukriane. I spent the night with the Bottos on the first night, then we met Stefanie and Peter at a resort for the weekend. This was a great place. They have an indoor water park - HUGE. We took the kids --- and Zoey loved it. She still talks about the plane ride and water park.

The plane ride was an adventure in itself. Miss Hudini managed to get out of the seatbelt no matter how we strapped it. And, for grins - we screamed and kicked the seats in front of us. We cried. On the way back - same thing. Acutally, a guy in front of me turned around and asked "Have you heard of Benadryl?" Yes sir I have - it has the opposite effect on her. Man - "You haven't found the right dose - keep trying". If I wasn't so stressed - I would have thought that was funny.

What do I do --- come home and let a friend in Ft. Lauderdale talk me into coming to visit. So, next weekend - we try this again. This time --- I am taking a car seat. I am excited as we get to visit with the McCues and Blancos. The McCues adopted in the same region as us - but different orphanage --- and Lourdes adopted a little girl in Zoey's orphanage. Should be fun.

Also, in preschool Zoey is moving up. She will be in the 3's class starting on Monday. Zoey will be 3 on May 22. So, we are having her party on the 26th at a local waterpark. She is so excited.

Things are rocking along. It is mighty tough being a single mom. Being the sole discipliner. Being the sole income provider. I never knew in my wildest dreams how hard this was going to be. Some times I feel so overwhelmed. I wish for the life of me I had time each day for me. I am still trying to figure out how I can do this --- but right now no solutions. If anyone has advice - I am open to hear it. How can I make her play by herself and "get off me" -- she has to be up my rear every minute we are together. It is so hard.

Zoey is very strong willed and if she doesn't get her way --- a meltdown ensues. A friend of mine saw a meltdown today - and was like "girl - you better get a handle on that!" Geez - I know and I am trying to be consistent - but I got my work cut out for me. Some days I am just so tired I just walk away.

Will write more later and post some photos - but want to ask other parents and make sure can post their kids with Zoey.

Happy Memorial Day!

Jennifer

Going Private

I am going to be restricting my blog to only readers that have permission. If you are still reading this blog and would like to continue, please let me know by e-mailing me at jhanks16@tx.rr.com and letting me know. I will start this in about a month. If you are family, friends, or a friend of the family that likes to keep up, please let me know. I will need your name and e-mail address and will send you information on how to log into the blog the same way you did before only now with a password.

One Year Home

On March 25, 2006 - Me, Mom and Zoey stepped off a LONG flight at DFW to a welcoming crowd of friends and family. I was already in tears after landing --- I could barely contain myself. I was happy, tired, stressed, nervous - and ready to get to my house. I am working on writing up the "real" last year. Meanwhile, here are some pictures of my precious baby - who is becoming a big girl.

Photo from our First Day

A VIDID MEMORY

The day started like any other. Except this morning it was rise and shine at 7am. I was already up since I really couldn’t sleep that night. Lyuba (my translator) had left to go get the city inspector to sign the papers so we could enter the orphanage. She said she’d be back “soon”. I showered, and then went to find breakfast for mother and me. It was minus 18 degrees that morning – so cold, yet I don’t remember feeling the weather. I was numb from the “what ifs” and unknowns about the child I was to meet. My nerves were shot. I was worn out from all the waiting. The whole process up to this point had weighed me down. I didn’t know how much more I could take. (little did I know) I went to a store we had found the day before – but they were not open. I looked for anything to be open – but at 8:00am not much was open. I took a different route back to the apartment – and found some street vendors selling breakfast items and wound up getting some pastries. Which were very tasty.

Mother and I ate – then we watched BBC. Nothing earth shattering – the minors in WV were still being analyzed as to what happened. So, we just waited and waited and waited. Played some solitaire and waited some more.

About a little after 9:00 am – Lyuba came back and said we would need to do a little “negotiating” to get a signature today – versus next week. So, we all loaded up and went to get the paper signed. It took 5 minutes. Then, we were off to the district inspector near the orphanage so he could approve us to enter the orphanage. (at a higher negotiating fee – I might add) Fast forward through the muck of negotiations – and we were allowed to go to the orphanage – which was less than a mile from there.

I remember driving up thinking how drab. It looks somber. Then I saw some little play areas and statues – that brightened up the place. None of it really mattered. All I could think about was the child I was about to meet – and all the time I had waited – how she was a child who needed a home – how I was a mother who needed a child. How God had brought me here – to this child. How I would react if she wasn’t what I “expected”. How selfish I was. How long this day was. It was now about 11:15. The car stopped. So did my heart. Lyuba turned around and sternly said “come on”.

We entered the orphanage – more drabness. Lyuba asked where the director’s office was and we followed a lady to the office. It was upstairs and there were two chairs in a waiting area – so mom and I sat down. Lyuba talked with the director – told her we were there to see a child. She then came back and waited a bit with us – then was called back to the director’s office. Mom and I started seeing kids come by, screaming, laughing etc. Here is the conversation:
Mom: That’s her.
Jennifer: No, that’s not her.
Mom: That’s her.
Jennifer: No, that’s a boy.
Mom: I know that’s her.
Jennifer: That child has blonde hair and blue eyes.
Mom: Maybe her hair got lighter.
Jennifer: “eyes rolling”

More minutes passed. It seemed like an eternity. Then, I see a lady in a white robe (orphanage doctor) walk up the stairs. She is holding a baby – who looks kind of scared. But me? I get the biggest lump in my throat, I let out a gulp and burst into tears. Her referral photo was not much to look at – but her eyes were the dead give-away. I knew that was my child. Linda heard me and started crying too. Lyuba ran out and said that was my baby. And, she had tears in her eyes. I stood up – and walked toward the director’s office – then she summoned me to come in. I just could not take my eyes off of Zoey. The doctor asked would I like to hold her. OF COURSE! Zoey came to me easily – didn’t cry – just sat on my lap. I gave her some apple juice and a cookie. She ate them so fast – mom and I were startled at how fast she consumed them – then was looking for more.

Since we got there so late – it was nearing lunch and naptime. But, they told me I could come back that afternoon. We left the orphanage – went to find a nearby apartment. I told Lyuba immediately – start the paperwork. I knew this was my child.

It has been a year to the day since I met Zoey. Time has flown by. Yet I can remember every day of the 93 I spent in Ukraine waiting and trying to get my baby home. Yes, there were days I slept 20 hours – but I remember everything that happened in my sleep.

I would also like to say Congratulations to the McCues ---- as I was going through my first day with Zoey – they were going through the same thing with their daughter Rachel. They had different circumstances – but they had their own set of nerve racking things to deal with. We both came home with incredible baby girls.

What a year. What a blessing. Thank you God for bringing this child into my family’s lives.

Appointment Day - One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, I had my appointment with the NAC in Ukraine. You can scroll back to February 2, 2006 and read the events of the day. It was a traumatic day for me. I look back now and have a whole new perspective on the day and how much God took control and blessed me beyond my wildest dreams.

With that said - here is the referral photo for Zoey. At the time - I thought it was horrendous, but my views of it today are bittersweet.



















Welcome to my life baby girl! I love you!

Just a 10 month update

Maybe I should post a photo of the loot. It was too much. Zoey was so over-stimulated. Next year - definitely a gift minimum! But hey - her first Christmas was awesome. All of the stuff you see was hers. A wagon, tricycle, bicycle, coloring desk, dolls, stuffed animals - you name it.

Zoey is growing so much and talking so much. It is so amazing. Amazing as to where she was 10 months ago. This time last year - I was sitting in Kiev - hanging with mom - tackling that blasted hill - hanging with the Bottos - sleeping (which by the way - I could use some major sleep these days). Just waiting and not knowing what was going on. Little did I know in 11 days I would meet the love of my life.

I know I will be an emotional wreck on some milestone dates that are coming up. I will be posting the ever famous referral photo, our first meeting, and some other photos from the orphanage - so check back often!

Also, today is my parents 40th anniversary - so Happy Anniversary to you both.

Recent Photos of My Precious

Pretty in lime green! Going out on the town with mommy.

Spotting the loot on Christmas morning with Grandpa! She pointed all the way down the stairs with mouth wide open.

Just hanging on the island waiting on mama to cook up some dinner.

Tis the Season

I worked very hard to get out a Christmas letter this year - and my printer has messed up. I put in new ink, re-adjusted alignment, etc - but nothing worked. So, I just decided to print my Christmas message on my blog. My Christmas card with Zoey's picture on it read "Home for the Holidays" - and the card had the following verse:

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! II Corinthians 9:15

Home for the Holidays – the card says it all. As you know – I have had a BIG year. On December 25, 2006 – Zoey and I will have been home 9 months. It seems like she has been here forever. A little bit about the last 2.5 years.

On May 22, 2004 I contacted a potential adoption facilitator in Florida for information on adopting in Ukraine. (this was after months of research and deliberation about whether to even adopt as I was single) At the time, I am not sure why I felt compelled to adopt from Ukraine, but 2 years later I know why. I looked into the US, China, and Russia. I just kept going back to Ukraine. Fast forward seven months (and loads of paperwork later) my dossier was complete: the date – December 27, 2004. (all paperwork was stamped with that date then sent to Ukraine). Fast forward (another term for endless waiting) and I was registered and received an appointment date on May 13, 2005: the appointment date – December 27, 2005.

Fast forward to December 23 – and my mother and I left for Ukraine. We arrived on Christmas Eve and spent Christmas Day with an Orphanage in Kiev that I work with. It was a great way to spend the day. December 26 – I got the call – the adoption center was shutting down. I went in on the 27th and met with the director and signed an affidavit that I would wait in Ukraine until the new administration took place on January 10, 2005. HA! I will save you the details…

December 27 – February 1 – lots of endless waiting (but we met some incredible people who we now call family)
February 2 – I had an appointment – and was given a referral for Zoey (she was the only child they would let me have)
February 6 – I met Zoey. To this day – I can shut my eyes and see her coming up the stairs where we waited – I knew it was her by her eyes. The most angelic creature God had ever created. I was in tears, mom was in tears, my translator was in tears. It was
truly a moment I will never forget.
March 9 – Zoey legally became my daughter.
March 25 – We landed at DFW – home at last.
May 22 - Zoey turned 2. (this is the same day I started my adoption)

I spent 93 days in Ukraine. Of those days – approx. 50% were below zero; 80% had snow on the ground; 95% there was no sun. It was a bitter-sweet process. One that I would do again in a heartbeat.

Today – Zoey is thriving. When I met her – she did not talk. She was under-nourished. She was quite and reserved. Now, she is a typical 2 year-old. Since we have been home – she has grown 5.5 inches and put on 5 pounds. She talks non-stop. She sings non-stop. She is loving, compassionate, humorous, intelligent, strong-willed and more than I ever could have hoped for. Not that all days are rosy, we are both still learning – but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

When I look back on the last 2.5 years – I see God’s hand in this whole process. He knew where I needed to be. Everything worked out so perfectly – though at the time I could not see that. If I had my original appointment on the 27th – I never would have gotten Zoey – she did not become available until Dec.31 – then was off the registry on January 16. If the director did not force me to take Zoey’s referral – I might have chosen another child. I almost did not go to the region where Zoey was because I just knew this was not my child. But because of my mother’s encouragement, along with my new friends, I went to meet her. My life will never be same.

I’d like to take this time to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year! May your lives be as blessed as ours! I will post photos as soon as I figure out how to do it under the new blogger.

Love, Jennifer and Zoey

Halloween and "I'm Just Cute" Photos

In early October my friend Stacey from Atlanta come to visit with her daughter Emily. I went with Stacey to Ukraine last September to pick up Emily after a 30 day wait. Have you seen cuter kids anywhere else?















Mother asked that I set the record straight and let you all know that there is 2 sides to every story. Her side is "she has a life and a home with my daddy and that comes first". (my brother is a close 2nd (my words not hers)) She has graciously offered to come stay the day on Saturday and let me get my puppy to the vet and "rest" - and I accepted. She has also said she would take Zoey to her house ---- but those of you who have adopted know you just can't do that. Zoey can't handle change right now. She needs to be secure and this is where she is secure. She can't handle the separation of me or of our house. She feels most secure here and in her bed at night. When she comes back from their house, she is a terror. She screams, cries, has nightmares, won't eat, is CLINGY. She won't sleep at night. She rocks and hums. It breaks my heart to see her do this. I can't knowingly allow this when I know her reactions. So, I am trying to keep her where she is secure until she understands she is "not going back" or not going to have another change. So, whether people agree or not, I will not be as selfish to let her go away knowing the consequences.

On another note - Zoey has other issues from being institutionalized. One is not knowing how to be comforted. She can't be held or rocked. I have tried to grip her tightly to force it --- it just doesn't happen. She was never rocked or held, so she doesn't know how to be rocked or held. I try to spend 5 minutes each night before bed holding her and rocking her. She fights it though. Even when sickly and crying - she will let me hold her upright, but if I try to rock - she is having no part of it. Short of restraining - I don't know what else to do. This is her biggest challenge. Mine too - as I get frustrated with trying to keep her still or settling her down. All other areas - she seems to have adjusted fine. She is chatty cathy these days. Finally gaining weight and growing again. And, has the cutest and sweetest voice. Angel on earth.

Ukraine is moving again and people are finally getting to complete adoptions. I just hope and pray my friends in waiting are as fortunate as me! And, good luck to those about to leave for Urkaine - Christina, Amy and Kelly! I can't wait for you to get your babies and get home!

Good night to all!

October Update (in November - oh well)

October 25 – 7 Months Home
I can’t count anymore. I keep telling people we have been home 8 months – but it is really only 7. But, they have been the most interesting, yet best 7 months of my life. (Minus the combined 12 weeks I had an ear infection and strep throat. And, still managed to care for a toddler.)

November 1 – Still sick and caring for the princess
Well, I went to doctor yesterday and they ran all kinds of test to try and determine what is wrong with me and why I keep getting ear infections, strep throat, bronchial infections, coughing fits and I will spare you with the other diagnoses. I can’t believe I have not been able to shake this. I am on steroids now, along with the strongest dosage and kind of antibiotic available on the market. I think they are giving me a headache – but I will digress if they work. I am so sick of being sick. But, throughout all of this – Zoey hasn’t had anything. I guess a small miracle.

On to the reason you are all here --- I know it isn’t about me anymore. Last night was Halloween and Zoey had so much fun. It was so funny to watch her. I gave her a candy in her pail before we left the house. So, when we got to the first house all hell broke loose when the lady went down to put candies in the pail. Zoey thought she was trying to take her candy – and started yelling “mine!” – “my candies” – I tried to explain the lady was adding candy. She finally let us put the candy in there – and off we went. At the next house – she was a little hesitant. But by the time we hit the third house – she had that pail out front and center. Then, if she didn’t think she got enough – she would grab more. It was very funny to watch. Also, her pail got too heavy for her – but she would not let me or grandma have the pail.

November 5, 2006 – OY! It just keeps getting better around here. Well, I found out I have whooping cough and they also want to check my lungs for “suspicious cultures” as the doctor called it. i.e. – TB. Thank you, Ukraine. Well, I wrote on my blog while in UA that when I went to that hospital – I was sure to leave with more than I arrived with.

To make matters worse – I have medication I need to take – but can’t take it because it makes me heavily drowsy and sleep a lot (which the doctor said I needed). But, since my mother can’t leave my daddy (even though he is hunting and camping) – I have no one to come help with Zoey – hence I can’t get better. It really sucks. I miss my nanny. She was a God-send. I miss her so much. I wish for once in her life my mother would help me when I needed it. (I know you all are thinking she did with the 3 months in UA ---- but that was her choice to go.) Anyway – to other single women thinking of adopting – make sure you have a network ready and available when you need it. My back-up plan was family – but I find out when it is really needed – no one has time or can’t be put out.

Back to Zoey – off my soapbox. She cracks me up. I have been teaching her to say “please” when she wants something. She is now able to tell me when she wants more of something. She starts screaming “I want more!” repeatedly. Today – I asked her to give me a flashlight I was hunting down. She kept telling me “NO!” – and the chase was on. Finally she stopped – turned around and said “say please”. I cracked up. I guess it is a 2-way street now. Her other favorite saying is “I don’t want it” – that is to up to anything including a nap. Which today – she got out of because I was too coughy to deal with. But, she got an earlier bedtime! WooHoo. I was able to get 3 more loads of clothes done. Oh – I forgot to mention. She has kind of a little accent – so her voice is so cute and she enunciates words so succinctly - it is so funny.

I took Zoey to doctor last week. Hallelujah, thank God. She is in the 5th percentile (previously has not even made the chart). She weighed 23lbs and was 33.5 inches tall. And, size 18 months are too short for her – so we graduated to a 24 month --- but pin the waist. Overall – she is healthy. But, she has had a nagging cough for time – and today while she was coughing – I prayed that she does not have what I have. It is harder on a child.

Zoey continues to do well at school. I think that is where she is really picking up the vocabulary skills. Some of which I wish she wasn’t learning. She has also taken to being mean to the puppy. Which I keep on top of her about that. I don’t know why – but she feels the need to ride him, sit on top of him or pull his ears. I spanked her today for it as time out was not working – and she kept doing it. Poor dog. I would show her to love the puppy – which she would do ----- then when I turned my back – she’d be on top of him – smiling away.

Also – I am highly annoyed that she calls me Jenny or Jennifer. Since everyone calls me that – and no one to call me mommy (but me). She tells me “bye-bye Jenny” at school. When I pick her up “Jenny – where you be at?” “Jenny – where go?” It cracks me up – but annoys me at the same time. It doesn’t help a lady at the school that teaches her is named Jenny – so its fresh on her mind. Funny – when she cries or wants something --- it is mommy.

November 7, 2006 – Fast forward a few days. Zoey is full-blown sick. Tonight she was driving me absolutely crazy. She cried, screamed, hit, was clingy. I just fed her – bathed her and put her to bed. Crazy times! My antibiotic is finally kicking in --- but I still am tired.

I guess this has been a whining log. Next month – I will give the 411 on Zoey that I was going to do this month --- but I just need to get better. With that – I will update in a few weeks.

SIX MONTHS HOME

Today – Zoey and I (and Grandma Linda) have been home 6 months! I can’t believe it. There are times I look at her sleeping and try to remember my life without her. She is such an amazing little girl. She always has a smile on her face – and truly loves life. 90% of the time she is in her own little world, singing away at the top of her lungs – which cracks me up.

We took a road trip to Houston this weekend to meet up with some fellow adopting families from Texas. It was so good to meet the people I have been emailing with for the last 2 years. I also got to see my college roommate, her husband and her 3 kids! They are all just beautiful. I have been trying to get to Houston for years to visit – but had too much work traveling going on. The trip down to Houston was not that bad --- but coming back, Zoey wanted no part of the car seat. She has learned to get out it and I had to pull over 3 times and put her back in. Which made her crankier and me more stressed. We couldn’t get home fast enough. All in all, it was a good weekend – but no more road trips for baby.

I really have to tell you all --- I still can’t believe I have this child. There are days I need a break of course, but she really is a good kid. But I think about what her life could have been, and then I think about her bio brother and what his life is like. My heart aches for him and I try not to think about it. It is beyond my comprehension why God chose her for me. And why I was chosen to be her mother. A half a world away and he brought us together through a miracle only he could make happen. It was not coincidence. It was not fate. It was a pure act of God.

I got accused of not updating enough. So I will try for once a month now. Especially with Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up! I am excited about Halloween as her costume is so cute! Stay tuned……..

5.5 Months Home, Back to Work, Life Goes On

Well, I started back to work on August 7 at my old job. My resignation was somewhat painless. I am going to miss a lot of people there --- but not the long hours and inflexible environment. I had lunch with one of the partners who was not very supportive in the beginning – but he let his guard down today and really asked informative questions about Zoey and her previous life – which showed me he is still human – but worried about the bottom line nonetheless. I left my job on good terms and am glad I did that. My last day is on the 25th – which is ironically our 5 month anniversary home! I start my new job at 7-Eleven as an IT Compliance Manager on August 28th. I am looking forward to it.

Princess Zoey and I are rocking along. I am learning (the very required) art of negotiation with a 2-year old. Negotiating skills people --- not winning skills. I like to be the winner in these battles – but Zoey screams and cries louder. So, I have learned to negotiate and she actually understands and reminds me of my promises.

September 7, 2006
I am now two weeks into my new job and all is well. Hopefully it will be the right fit for my new lifestyle. I do leave every day at 4:30 and pick Zoey up by 5:15. That is nice. We come home, eat then play a while. Lately, the weather has been really nice in the afternoons that we can actually enjoy playing outside without sweating like pigs. I am just having a hard time adjusting back to work. I really enjoyed my time off. It was the greatest time in the last many years for me. I am glad I got to spend time with Zoey. I just wish I could afford to go part time or maybe win the lottery (which I don’t play – so that won’t happen) to be home more.

Zoey is getting better at the day care thing. Initially, she cried, but now she clutches my leg for a while – then sits in her chair for breakfast. Her vocabulary is expanding and last night she went on the potty by herself. The big girl potty – not that baby potty (as she calls it). She has also picked up the fine art of whining and “mine”. Guess it is a little give and take.

I can’t believe we have been home over 5 months. Zoey seems like she has been here forever. I spend a lot of time laughing at her – and some time being frustrated. She is a strong-willed little girl. And doesn’t take no for an answer. She is willing to dish out the “no-s” but does not want to hear them from me.

I think all eyes are on Ukraine these days, as are mine, seeing what happens over there with the new adoption authority. I would love for Zoey to have a sibling. But, it will be some time before I start the process again. I want to enjoy her right now.

I am all excited about Christmas for Zoey this year. I can’t wait. I have already started buying stuff for her. I plan to get one big gift and 3 to 5 smaller gifts. I think the big gift is going to be a car she can drive in. (and try to run me over as we all know she will). Then, I already got her an art desk and Mr. Potato head. I may get a wagon and that is it.

Zoey is growing and thriving. And, I am very fortunate and blessed to have such a healthy little girl.

2.5 Months Home

And this kid cracks me up. Her vocabulary is expanding daily. She amazes me at how much she understands. Although - that doesn't necessisarily mean she listens to me. She really has not grown much since the last posting - but her hair is growing something mad. I have photos of her first tie-up. She actually will wear the rubber bands in her hair for most of the day.

Zoey hit her terrible 2's with a vengeance. She is constantly testing me. It is a good thing I got my parenting magazine this month and on the cover "Taking back the control from your Toddler" -- now how is that for timing (ha ha)? Of course - I started reading the article (I needed it that bad) - and all the bad behavior - my princess is doing times 10. And, of course I have tried their "methodology" - but let's face it - I am learning the hard way there is no compromising with a 2-year old. Especially one my mother has prayed for to torture me (which she does). Linda gets such a kick out of all that Zoey does to me. (hits me on head with toy (knot and bruise to prove it), pours her plate on the floor, mean to the dog, get into stuff she knows she shouldn't, and my favorite - she colored my flat-screen monitor, etc. - you get the drift) I am glad I can provide amusement for Linda - since she is back to napping these days.

We started swimming lessons last week - but the water was so cold Zoey's lips turned blue. It was an outdoor pool and 100 degrees on the days we went. I took her two days - and we haven't gone since because she is too cold and shivering to try to swim. I don't know why it was so cold. We are going to try tomorrow - and if the same - we will not go back.

Zoey starts Mother's Day Out this week. I am kind of excited for her to be around kids. And, I plan to start working out on those days. Currently, I only get two days workout - while she is at story hour.

All is well at Casa Hanks. We are moving along and bonding well. Even though she tries my last nerve, I have become very attached to this little girl. I truly see the miracle that she is each time I look in her eyes. I love her laugh, her blabbering, her kisses, her smile - everything. Truly the best thing I have ever done in my life.