Photos from Ukraine

With our favorite caregiver at BH#1













With Luba, my translator from adoption

Zoey eating "hot chocolate"

Maui, New Puppy, Halloween oh MY!

Ok - so it has been a while. It just seems life catches up with you, then you get behind, then you get way behind trying to dig out --- then the task seems overwhelming. Life with a sassy, defiant, but charming 3 year old is never boring. Nor is it all that easy doing it alone. But, we take it a day at a time.

What has happened in the last 3 months? Well, princess woke up one day and said "I poopoo on the potty now" --- and we have never went back. That has been about 2 months now. I am over thrilled. Don't know the deciding factor for her --- but it was night and day. I was sick of poopy diapers. Now, of course --- the challenging side of all this is her fascination with EVERY public bathroom in the world. If anyone even says a word close to potty - she has to go. Though, some times she just wants to go and touch everything and see how grossed out and fussy I get.

We went to Maui in September. Had fun, but a little challenging (like the positive spin I use with this word?). (what I really want to say is traveling with a toddler on an 8 hour flight with no nap is like having a root canal, hysterectomy, and lobotomy without anesthesia --- -but I didn't want to sound so negative) I swore I'd never get on another airplane with her again........but like adoption paperwork, adoption waits, and 93 days in Ukraine - you soon forget the pain. (Or, did I miss the lobotomy?) We are headed to Ukraine in 3 weeks. I have been wanting to see my sponsored child in Kiev and visit friends. So, off we go. We are going with my friend in NY and her little boy --- and we can't wait to see them too. Gonna be an adventure with 2 toddlers on a 9 hour trip. Back to Maui - it was so awesome in lots of ways. The first time Zoey had waves come across her little feet --- she just giggled and screamed --- I got little tears just thinking where she came from and how well she has adjusted.

In early October - we got a new addition to the family. Brinks, our new doberman puppy. I think he was born bigger than Zoey is now - and now he about towers over us. And, he will only be 3 months old next week. He's gonna be big. But, we love him. The first couple of weeks were tough - he used Zoey as a chew toy --- but we have got him diverted now. Of course Spencer (my older cocker spaniel) probably has it out for me. I know he is thinking...... "first, the kid; now the puppy"!

Halloween was fun. This year - Zoey knew what to do and what to expect. It was fun watching her get the loot. Funny thing --- when she'd go to a house she'd say "trick or treating". She insisted on taking two bags, so we had the drama of which bag the candy goes in. Oye!

As for the adoption of #2 - I am putting that on hold for right now. I have been trying to sell the house - but with all the mortgage problems - things aren't moving these days. I did get an offer and waited it out --- but the buyers backed out 2 days before option period was up. So, right now we are taking a break. I know I am going to move --- so I will wait to see how things fall out before I start the process.

While in Ukraine - I will be blogging - but probably with no pictures till I get home. I am hoping for a fun visit. Since there will be no pressure from adopting or the sorts, it should be great. We are going back to Dnipropetrovs'k - to take the kids to visit the orphanage. I can't wait to see everyone there. I just can't believe it has been almost 2 years since I left for my adoption. My time flies.

Happy Thanksgiving to You all! More updates later.

Photos from Halloween and Brinks

Hands on Hips - her famous pose












Zoey and Brinks



















My angel at Halloween

Photos - Maui

Zoey in Maui














Zoey and Goma ready for the airport













Family at the Crater

Where Does the Time Go???

I can't believe today is August 1. Just yesterday it was May, Zoey's 3rd birthday, then surgery. (I had a complete hysterectomy for medical reasons on June 11 - but recovered really fast) I had 6 weeks off work for recovery (5 weeks of which rain fell all day). I had big plans to take Zoey to the water park and Zoo --- but it rained too much. So, basically I got a lot done around the house. I have my house on the market and hope to sell soon. I have found several houses I love and but have to wait until mine sells. I am going to move forward with the adoption of a second little girl after I get settled in to a new place. I have decided I am going to try Ukraine again. That is where my heart is and where my baby's heritage lies - so I have high hopes for her sibling to share that bond. So, off we go again! Once that time comes - I will open a blog for that child - because I am keeping the blog logs for their memory books.

Zoey meanwhile had her 3rd birthday check up. She is 24.4 lbs and 35.25 inches tall. My doctor says she is doing great and healthy as they come. I wish she weren't so stinking tiny. Potty training is not going that well. She will do #1 on the potty - but not #2. Also, she has a tendency to be hard-headed and just not go "cause I didn't want to". Her standard answer to anything these days is a roll of the eyes, shrug of the shoulders, and a "cause I didn't want to". Funny how when she has to go to her room and think things over - she all of a sudden wants to do whatever is being asked. How do they become so stubborn at 3?

Also, she comes home frequently and tells me she has a brother or sister. It changes daily. I always correct her and say sister. I don't think she really understands what a brother or sister entails (i.e. -- she will have to share me, her toys, her puppy, etc)

Here are some recent pictures. She is growing up before my very eyes.

Zoey wanted her picture taken in front of the flowers in the driveway on Sunday before church. I told her let's wait until mommy cleans out some weeds --- she didn't want to wait. How cute is this kid?

Picture Time

My friend Gladys and I took our kiddos to a 4th of July event near the house. It was a nice day - despite the downpour. It let up enough for us to take the kids to play a little.

Random Thoughts

You know - I have been involved in the adoption world for about 3 years --- and every six months it is something different. (Now the wait in line to submit dossier, quotas on the number of adoptions per year, singles can’t adopt, and parents can’t be 45 years older than the child.) My rational thinking can't reconcile why it is so hard to adopt kids - especially when there is such a need. (this doesn't just apply to Ukraine)

I also struggle with the what ifs (what if I had come home while waiting for my appointment; what if I had my appt on Dec 27, what if etc.....) I almost told the NAC on December 30, 2005 - I would come home and wait for an appointment. I know I never would have received one if I left the country. And, I'd be caught in the singles chaos. And, I wouldn't have the most perfect child on earth! :) It saddens me because I was hoping to get a sibling for Zoey from UA - so they would have the same heritage --- but it appears if I want a sibling - I will have to go to another country.

I get so upset when reading about the quota for dossiers and everyone having to update paperwork for the 6 month rule - which will most likely time out because of the waiting game. I can't believe it has come to this. What's more - I know and have seen the conditions these kids live in and though it varies --- it is mostly the same. Lack of attention, good nutrition, stimulation, love, healthcare, etc. I know some orphanages try their best --- but with all the kids and their needs – they usually don’t get met.

I have been researching other countries for Zoey a sibling. I hope to start the process soon after my surgery. Even with that – it will probably be late 2008 or early 2009 before I bring home another child. That will be fine. I am hoping for a girl – so I can re-use Zoey’s old clothing and toys --- but I am open to a boy this time. My first country of choice will be Kazakhstan, then Russia next.

God answered so many prayers for me (Praise be to HIM) while I was waiting for Zoey. Prayers I never knew he answered until I met her. (that she be taken care, fed, loved, happy) I believe her orphanage caretakers did the best they could with what they had. So, I pray now that he is with my next child to protect them before she/he gets to their new home and family.

Zoey is thriving. She just turned 3 – and her birthday party was rained out. So, after I am back up and feeling 100% - I am going to have a little party for her. We did a family thing - but nothing fancy.

May Day! (yes, that is an SOS call - and it is May)

Well, I was going to go private - but several of you griped about logging in - fine - I will keep the status quo. A lot has happened since the last time I blogged. We had Easter, our first plane ride since coming home from Ukraine (which I keep telling myself is the last - but low and behold I go booking more trips), and graduated to the 3s in preschool. WooHoo!

Last year at Easter - Zoey didn't know about that looking for the thingee -- but this year - sister fought for the eggs. She cracks me up. My cousins 2 kids came to my parents house and we let them hunt eggs, and Zoey decided when they set their baskets down --- that she had found more eggs (and you know a fight ensued). Anyway - was a nice day.

The weekend after Easter we went to Cincinnati, Ohio. We met up with our friends the Bottos from Kentucky (they live about 5 minutes from CN) who adopted a little girl out of Kiev and the Senkiw-Krebs family. Stefanie adopted Peter from the same orphanage as Zoey. We had an awesome weekend and it was so amazing to see how much these kids have grown and changed since Ukriane. I spent the night with the Bottos on the first night, then we met Stefanie and Peter at a resort for the weekend. This was a great place. They have an indoor water park - HUGE. We took the kids --- and Zoey loved it. She still talks about the plane ride and water park.

The plane ride was an adventure in itself. Miss Hudini managed to get out of the seatbelt no matter how we strapped it. And, for grins - we screamed and kicked the seats in front of us. We cried. On the way back - same thing. Acutally, a guy in front of me turned around and asked "Have you heard of Benadryl?" Yes sir I have - it has the opposite effect on her. Man - "You haven't found the right dose - keep trying". If I wasn't so stressed - I would have thought that was funny.

What do I do --- come home and let a friend in Ft. Lauderdale talk me into coming to visit. So, next weekend - we try this again. This time --- I am taking a car seat. I am excited as we get to visit with the McCues and Blancos. The McCues adopted in the same region as us - but different orphanage --- and Lourdes adopted a little girl in Zoey's orphanage. Should be fun.

Also, in preschool Zoey is moving up. She will be in the 3's class starting on Monday. Zoey will be 3 on May 22. So, we are having her party on the 26th at a local waterpark. She is so excited.

Things are rocking along. It is mighty tough being a single mom. Being the sole discipliner. Being the sole income provider. I never knew in my wildest dreams how hard this was going to be. Some times I feel so overwhelmed. I wish for the life of me I had time each day for me. I am still trying to figure out how I can do this --- but right now no solutions. If anyone has advice - I am open to hear it. How can I make her play by herself and "get off me" -- she has to be up my rear every minute we are together. It is so hard.

Zoey is very strong willed and if she doesn't get her way --- a meltdown ensues. A friend of mine saw a meltdown today - and was like "girl - you better get a handle on that!" Geez - I know and I am trying to be consistent - but I got my work cut out for me. Some days I am just so tired I just walk away.

Will write more later and post some photos - but want to ask other parents and make sure can post their kids with Zoey.

Happy Memorial Day!

Jennifer

Going Private

I am going to be restricting my blog to only readers that have permission. If you are still reading this blog and would like to continue, please let me know by e-mailing me at jhanks16@tx.rr.com and letting me know. I will start this in about a month. If you are family, friends, or a friend of the family that likes to keep up, please let me know. I will need your name and e-mail address and will send you information on how to log into the blog the same way you did before only now with a password.

One Year Home

On March 25, 2006 - Me, Mom and Zoey stepped off a LONG flight at DFW to a welcoming crowd of friends and family. I was already in tears after landing --- I could barely contain myself. I was happy, tired, stressed, nervous - and ready to get to my house. I am working on writing up the "real" last year. Meanwhile, here are some pictures of my precious baby - who is becoming a big girl.

Photo from our First Day

A VIDID MEMORY

The day started like any other. Except this morning it was rise and shine at 7am. I was already up since I really couldn’t sleep that night. Lyuba (my translator) had left to go get the city inspector to sign the papers so we could enter the orphanage. She said she’d be back “soon”. I showered, and then went to find breakfast for mother and me. It was minus 18 degrees that morning – so cold, yet I don’t remember feeling the weather. I was numb from the “what ifs” and unknowns about the child I was to meet. My nerves were shot. I was worn out from all the waiting. The whole process up to this point had weighed me down. I didn’t know how much more I could take. (little did I know) I went to a store we had found the day before – but they were not open. I looked for anything to be open – but at 8:00am not much was open. I took a different route back to the apartment – and found some street vendors selling breakfast items and wound up getting some pastries. Which were very tasty.

Mother and I ate – then we watched BBC. Nothing earth shattering – the minors in WV were still being analyzed as to what happened. So, we just waited and waited and waited. Played some solitaire and waited some more.

About a little after 9:00 am – Lyuba came back and said we would need to do a little “negotiating” to get a signature today – versus next week. So, we all loaded up and went to get the paper signed. It took 5 minutes. Then, we were off to the district inspector near the orphanage so he could approve us to enter the orphanage. (at a higher negotiating fee – I might add) Fast forward through the muck of negotiations – and we were allowed to go to the orphanage – which was less than a mile from there.

I remember driving up thinking how drab. It looks somber. Then I saw some little play areas and statues – that brightened up the place. None of it really mattered. All I could think about was the child I was about to meet – and all the time I had waited – how she was a child who needed a home – how I was a mother who needed a child. How God had brought me here – to this child. How I would react if she wasn’t what I “expected”. How selfish I was. How long this day was. It was now about 11:15. The car stopped. So did my heart. Lyuba turned around and sternly said “come on”.

We entered the orphanage – more drabness. Lyuba asked where the director’s office was and we followed a lady to the office. It was upstairs and there were two chairs in a waiting area – so mom and I sat down. Lyuba talked with the director – told her we were there to see a child. She then came back and waited a bit with us – then was called back to the director’s office. Mom and I started seeing kids come by, screaming, laughing etc. Here is the conversation:
Mom: That’s her.
Jennifer: No, that’s not her.
Mom: That’s her.
Jennifer: No, that’s a boy.
Mom: I know that’s her.
Jennifer: That child has blonde hair and blue eyes.
Mom: Maybe her hair got lighter.
Jennifer: “eyes rolling”

More minutes passed. It seemed like an eternity. Then, I see a lady in a white robe (orphanage doctor) walk up the stairs. She is holding a baby – who looks kind of scared. But me? I get the biggest lump in my throat, I let out a gulp and burst into tears. Her referral photo was not much to look at – but her eyes were the dead give-away. I knew that was my child. Linda heard me and started crying too. Lyuba ran out and said that was my baby. And, she had tears in her eyes. I stood up – and walked toward the director’s office – then she summoned me to come in. I just could not take my eyes off of Zoey. The doctor asked would I like to hold her. OF COURSE! Zoey came to me easily – didn’t cry – just sat on my lap. I gave her some apple juice and a cookie. She ate them so fast – mom and I were startled at how fast she consumed them – then was looking for more.

Since we got there so late – it was nearing lunch and naptime. But, they told me I could come back that afternoon. We left the orphanage – went to find a nearby apartment. I told Lyuba immediately – start the paperwork. I knew this was my child.

It has been a year to the day since I met Zoey. Time has flown by. Yet I can remember every day of the 93 I spent in Ukraine waiting and trying to get my baby home. Yes, there were days I slept 20 hours – but I remember everything that happened in my sleep.

I would also like to say Congratulations to the McCues ---- as I was going through my first day with Zoey – they were going through the same thing with their daughter Rachel. They had different circumstances – but they had their own set of nerve racking things to deal with. We both came home with incredible baby girls.

What a year. What a blessing. Thank you God for bringing this child into my family’s lives.

Appointment Day - One Year Ago Today

One year ago today, I had my appointment with the NAC in Ukraine. You can scroll back to February 2, 2006 and read the events of the day. It was a traumatic day for me. I look back now and have a whole new perspective on the day and how much God took control and blessed me beyond my wildest dreams.

With that said - here is the referral photo for Zoey. At the time - I thought it was horrendous, but my views of it today are bittersweet.



















Welcome to my life baby girl! I love you!

Just a 10 month update

Maybe I should post a photo of the loot. It was too much. Zoey was so over-stimulated. Next year - definitely a gift minimum! But hey - her first Christmas was awesome. All of the stuff you see was hers. A wagon, tricycle, bicycle, coloring desk, dolls, stuffed animals - you name it.

Zoey is growing so much and talking so much. It is so amazing. Amazing as to where she was 10 months ago. This time last year - I was sitting in Kiev - hanging with mom - tackling that blasted hill - hanging with the Bottos - sleeping (which by the way - I could use some major sleep these days). Just waiting and not knowing what was going on. Little did I know in 11 days I would meet the love of my life.

I know I will be an emotional wreck on some milestone dates that are coming up. I will be posting the ever famous referral photo, our first meeting, and some other photos from the orphanage - so check back often!

Also, today is my parents 40th anniversary - so Happy Anniversary to you both.

Recent Photos of My Precious

Pretty in lime green! Going out on the town with mommy.

Spotting the loot on Christmas morning with Grandpa! She pointed all the way down the stairs with mouth wide open.

Just hanging on the island waiting on mama to cook up some dinner.