March 23 - Spring has Sprung

That means the snow has melted. WE ARE IN KIEV!!!!!!!!!!!! I never thought I’d be so happy to see a city again. (even if it is in Ukraine) Village life is not for me. I don’t even mind that stupid hill – as we are in the same apartment as we were in January. I guess I will recap the last few days for you.

The 10 day wait was by far the slowest time in this whole trip. We passed the time by visiting Zoey each day and staring at the walls. And, talking with all the families who are awaiting court dates.

On Monday the 20th we spent the day getting ready for the birth certificate and passport. We also had Zoey’s going away party. I cried a little. I know it is a happy time – but these ladies appear to love these kids and I know they loved Zoey.

I didn’t sleep at all on Monday night – worried about getting that court decree. So – fast forward to Tuesday the 21st. It was a busy and big day. We get to courthouse around 8am to pick up our decree. We were suppose to review the final copy on Monday – but after a 4 hour wait – were told we could look at it when we picked it up. Oye. So, around 9:30am – the judge told us we could have the decree at 10:00am. Which technically was 11:30. Then, there were errors. OUCH! I almost got sick. I started getting a migraine. If there are any errors, there is an imposed 5-day wait period to correct and rebind the decree. However, this was our lucky day. We took the decree and told the judge the errors and prepared for the worst. She looked at her watch and said – I have time – I will correct them myself. So, she corrected all but 2 of the errors. Then, made a few more. (don’t ask) We finally got the correct version of the decree at nearly 2pm. We had to be so many places before 5pm – and we almost made it – but the legalization office would not wait for us. At 5pm we went to the orphanage to check out Zoey. To my chagrin, the passport office called and said we had to have the birth certificate notarized before they would issue a passport since the legalization of documents did not occur. So, my translator and car left me at the orphanage to get Zoey.

So, we said our goodbyes (I cried when I took her from orphanage, cried when I said bye to other families waiting, cried when her caregivers cried, it was an emotional day) – and had to walk through the forest to get home. Actually, Zoey got a ride on my hip. Linda was surprised to see us as they told us we would have to wait until documents were legalized before we could have her. So, at 4pm I told Linda we would have to wait. Then, showed up with her at 5:45pm. Found out right quick the apartment we were staying in was not kid friendly. She opened every cabinet, touched every knick-knack. Kid could not be left alone for 2 seconds.

Zoey did really well. I cursed the time I had to stay in Dnipropetrovs’k – but it really did give Zoey time to bond with me. She is really attached to me. (My mother thinks too much as she will not go to anyone else now – whereas before she just held out her hands for anyone. She is constantly asking where her mama is and making sure she has an eye on me at all times) She went to bed around 8:30am – but not without a fight. She screamed and cried for 30 minutes till she wore herself out. Then, at 3am – she woke up ready to go. And, would not go back to sleep. She played, sung, touched everything again. (at this point – I was on 7 hours of sleep in the last two days) She finally laid down at around 5am – but was up again for good at 6am.

Did she take a nap – no. She was too busy being excited she had escaped the orphanage. She got a catnap in the stroller to lunch – maybe 30 minutes. I tried to get her to nap after lunch – but after crying and screaming for an hour – no go. So, we left for the train around 3:30pm. She did really well in the car. And, at the train station. We got on the train – she did good for about an hour – then was very tired. After crying for a long time and fighting the sleep urge – she gave in at 7pm. However, our train arrived at Kiev at 11pm – which meant we had to wake her – which meant she thought she was up for play. Oye. We got to the apartment around midnight – and she had to explore. At a little after 1am – I finally got her to sleep – along with myself. That kid has a set of lungs – so much my ears throb when she screams.

Today we went to get her medical exam – tomorrow the embassy. Naptime today was the same. She is just having adjustment issues – that hopefully will resolve when we get home and she is in the same bed every day. Poor little thing has from a strict schedule to chaos. Her sleeping, eating, playing and caregivers have changed – as has her whole life in 2 short days. I do thank God she feels safe with me – else things might be worse.

As we were leaving Dnipro last night, I got such a lump in my throat and tears. We were leaving my baby’s home. And I know we will not be going back there anytime soon. Although I have had a rough time in Ukraine – I do not hate the place. I hate the ways of the country. But, if they were like the US – we would not be over here adopting these wonderful children.

Unless something unexpected occurs – we will be home this Saturday. I am honestly beside myself as I guess in my mind I was resigned to the fact that Ukraine was going to start making adoptive parents LIVE in Ukraine to be able to adopt them. : ) I just did not think I would ever get home. I know it is only 3 months – but they were the longest 3 months I have known.

I am so unprepared for this child at home. I don’t have anything for her (high chair, car seat, monitors, clothes, you name it) except love. : )

Also, in one of my blogs I whined about getting a special favor from God. Well, I already know I got it. Zoey. I love that little girl more than I thought a person could love someone. Today – the 90 days seem so distant.

I will post more photos and update from home when I get there. Until then – get ready to meet the most wonderful child God ever created. (for me anyway) : )

March 15 – Middle of the 10 day wait

We are suppose to get the court decree on March 21 – next Tuesday. I am so excited. If all goes according to plan, we will get the passport and birth certificate that day (provided we get the decree that morning). Then, pick up Zoey from the orphanage and leave for Kiev on the 22nd on the 6:45am train. Hal-le-lu-jah! Kiev will be a nice change from the village. I will hopefully get the medical exam on the 22nd or 23rd – then have my Embassy appointment set for Friday morning at 8:30. If all goes well and the airlines still have availability – we will be home Saturday evening at 6:30pm CST! It doesn’t even seem real – I am so beside myself to get out of here. If we leave on the 25th – we will have been here 93 days! I still could not have imagined the journey I have been down when I left home on December 23rd. How naïve was I?

I have been sick the last couple of days. My ear infection will just not give and now I have sore throat and coughing – among other sinus problems. I have taken the medicine I was given here – but it is just not strong enough. Something tells me the plane ride home will be miserable. I have not seen Zoey the last few days because I have felt bad. But, mother has gone in my place. Every day Zoey asks where her mama is. I miss her so much – but intend to get back over there ASAP. On Monday – we were going around getting paperwork completed for the passport and BC – and I didn’t get to see her that morning. The caregivers said she sat at the window all morning asking where her mama was and cried. I went at 12:30 after visiting the director – but could only spend 5 minutes with her. She was so excited. She kept rubbing her hand on my face and smiling. Then, when I had to give her back – she cried, kicked, and screamed. I felt so horrible. I did make it for the 4pm visit and she was so excited to see me.

While we were chasing down paperwork – I went and bought some clothes and a stroller (in the waiting time) for the trip home. I got some cool threads – but they will be too hot once we deplane in Dallas. I am going to have to put her in diapers for the trip home. I hope she doesn’t get use to it. I got a potty chair for her – but will only be able to use it while here in Ukraine. I am not taking that thing on the plane.

What else?? Well, things did not go well for all the other couples here at court. The judge did not grant their adoptions. Now, these families will have to appeal to the supreme court of Ukraine. This really is a sad situation here. I have been so torn up – yet thankful for the miracle God granted me. These people have the proper paperwork she requested – she just denied their adoptions. I spoke with the director of the orphanage yesterday and she is upset too. She has to tell these kids who do not understand that these parents will be leaving them. There are now approximately 12 families here waiting to adopt. Those that have been here 2 to 3 weeks without a court date are disconnecting from the children and trying not to attach. It is so sad. My heart aches and breaks for these children and these families who wanted so much to adopt them. Some of these families have been in this process since October and November. Also, in passing the director mentioned there were about 15 more kids about to come off the registry.

I just can’t wait to get out of here and get home.

March 9 – I AM OFFICIALLY A MOM

Hallelujah – Praise God! What a difference a day makes. Yes – you read right. I went to court today – my preliminary hearing was at 11am. There was a court hearing before mine with a Spanish couple who was on court #5. They had more problems (please pray for this couple – they are wonderful people and don’t deserve what they are going through) and on top of that – the jurors were tired of the judge’s shenanigans so they decided to leave. Which meant, my court could not start until they found more jurors. But, the judge went out and found 2 jurors (they worked at the courthouse) and we started around 11:15. We had the preliminary hearing – which lasted about 20 minutes. Then, my translator applied for the real court – and the judge said “why not”. So, at 11:55 we started my “real” court. Everything we heard about this judge was horrible, and some of the questions she asked were weird – but for the most part there was no trouble. The only thing that came up was an address was misspelled – an “o” instead of an “a” in one of the documents – but the prosecutor told her it was a technical mistake as the “o” was handwritten. The court erupted into a battle zone for a few minutes – but that was it. From my experience – my court was long (nearly 5 hours) – but not bad at all. At times – the jurors fell asleep – which I thought was kind of funny. My court ended around 3:40 – but not before the judge had to decide twice if she would grant custody. As she read the statement – and I realized what she was saying – I started crying. This child is now mine. My translator was so nervous all day – to the extent she was driving me crazy with bombardment of questions the judge “may” ask. None of which she did. For the most part – as I mentioned in the previous blog – I just felt defeated. I.e. – I let go. When will I learn?

I cried a couple a times during court when they were talking about how no-one had visited or wanted Zoey. That is so hard to hear. I want this child – I wanted her since she was born. It was as if she were an object and not a child. I have never met Zoey’s biological mother – but I will forever be grateful to her. I will pray for her every night that she knows this child is loved, cared for and happy.

I went to see Zoey after court – and all the caregivers had already heard. They hugged me and were jumping up and down. They said they were sad – but so happy for Zoey. That will be a hard day when I take her from the orphanage.

I have sat here trying to decide if I should post the blog I was writing over the last few days. I have decided I will post as that was what was occurring to me over the last week. To see how down I was over the last few days – to this miracle that was granted to me today. A miracle only God could have orchestrated. Why am I so hardheaded?

If all goes as planned – we pick up the court decree on March 21. Get her passport and birth certificate – then leave for Kiev on the 22nd. Hopefully we can get the medical exam and embassy trip for her visa on the 23rd and leave to come home on the 24th-25th- or 26th – depending on the airlines. More prayers for a quick trip home!!!!

March 10 – The Day After
I went to upload my blog today – and a new person was tending the internet café and he would not let me upload the blog. I will just keep updating until I the regular guy back.

I arrived at the orphanage today only to get sad news. After my court, there were two couples waiting for court. The Spanish couple – to finish their court, and an American couple who was on their third court attempt. I found out the American couple “had more problems” and was not granted custody, and the Spanish couple was told to come back next week because it was so late when the American couple finished. Both couples will have court on next Tuesday. The Spanish couple started their adoption in October – and they are still having problems. For both couples – their problems are with the birth mother search (or so they are told). It is craziness.

All day – I felt so horrible as I knew the American couple had court at 1pm. And, during breaks I spoke with them and knew they were stressed that my court would go too long and they would get put off again. I got such a stress migraine yesterday because I knew we were going so long. I felt horrible. And still do. But, I realize there was nothing I could do.

I am so thankful to God for the miracle He granted me. No one has ever had just one court in this courthouse. The director of the orphanage called my translator and asked what “special” did she do as this had never happened. We did nothing but pray. No thank you’s were given. No begging. Just God and his mighty mercy that he softened this judges heart for approximately 5 hours.

Oddly enough – two new couples came to the orphanage yesterday afternoon and this morning and they had already heard my story. All the translators are wanting my translator’s phone number so they can know what she did. She even told them “we prayed to God”! There are now approximately 10 adopting parents here at our orphanage. Several are single women – and like me – they only got one referral – and it was at this orphanage. We are like one big family and have become so close through the ordeals of court. I will really miss these new friends but we all have plans to keep in touch. Though this has been tough – it has been a great visiting with everyone at play and snack time.

Zoey is a handful. We are trying to prepare ourselves for the plane ride. She is a nosy little girl and a busy body. She goes to everyone else’s play area rather than staying in hers and playing with her toys. She goes to take everyone else’s food and toys. And, she hates being told no. My mom is getting a kick out of me chasing this kid all over the orphanage. Today – I took her back to her groupa – and she started kicking and screaming and trying to get me to take her. When I said no – I have to go – she dropped on the floor and did the kick and scream episode. I don’t know what that caregiver said – but it was stern and she stopped on a dime. I have to find that out before I leave. Anyway – after they took her away – the caregiver came back and told me I needed to spank her. Anyway – I got a kick out of how she communicated this to me. “Mama” – as she took her hand and swatted the backside of another caregiver and said “Mama – to Rada” – she kept doing it till I said hradashol. (OK) Of course, I am not going to spank her – we will do time outs soon enough.

Well, that’s all for now. Hopefully I will be in Dallas soon! I am counting down the days!

March 4 - 8 – The Bad, The Worse, The Miserable

That title might describe my attitude. But, maybe not. My court is still scheduled for March 9 – but wouldn’t you know – we still do not have all the paperwork needed. I have left so many details out on my blog – mainly because what we are dealing with here is a troubled environment. I will speak my mind today. This is ridiculous. Linda tells me I need to be positive – but the hoops we are jumping through to please this woman are too high and too many. The prosecutor and board of education said we had all necessary paperwork, have done the proper birth mom search (we have done this 3 times now), have even gathered paperwork we do not need to please the judge, still she wants more. It is never-ending. It is so frustrating as one day – we have everything we need, then the next day – we need something else. ARGH. Also, we found out March 9 is a preliminary court – not the actual court that will count down the 10 days…..NO – I DON’T KNOW WHAT A FREAKING PRELIMINARY COURT IS OR WHY IT IS NECESSARY. I just know it is “required” by this judge – to see the family and make sure all paperwork is in order before the “real” court begins. Never mind we have been working with her to ensure all paperwork is adequate for her. Now I find out I will have to apply for “real” court after the preliminary hearing.

On top of that – may anyone who comes to this country never have to go to the hospital. I have had an ear infection since early February thinking it might just go away. Well, my ears started bleeding and I was coughing up blood and I knew it called for drastic measures. The doctors are at the hospital and everything is all just mixed in. Radiology is next door to the pediatrician, surgery room is next to the ENT, just all random. I actually went to a pediatrician today. But, he turned out to be a decent doctor. I already knew the problems I had as they were recurring and he diagnosed them pretty quick. He concluded my problems were from my nose and throat – which is true as I have bad sinus problems. But, let’s just say they don’t have modern equipment and testing is done using apparatus from the 20s. He used to long needles to stick up my nose to test the sinus cavity – I thought I would die. They took an X-ray of my head (don’t ask) – and the equipment was so scary. But, I had to do this in order to get the meds. I got to keep the X-ray – and it is very interesting. There was a mass in my forehead – and I got scared it was a tumor. But, he showed me it was normal. Whew….. Anyway, there were so many people in this hospital – all like the walking wounded. Some looked like they were on their last leg. After I left – I started freaking about TB – as I have read they have high occurrences here. Joy………….

On top of that (again) – the weather is crazy. One day hot (that’s relative now as 40 seems hot to me), the next day snow, then rain, then snow, then slush, then rain, then it is muddy, then snow again. Today – we have had it all!

Just so I don’t seem as bitter as I might sound, the best thing about this trip is my little precious angel. She is so cute. She is bonding well. She is growing and flourishing. Dr. Yuri was back here on the 6th testing for another couple and saw her again and said she had changed tremendously from when he checked her out a month ago. I know this child is worth the hell I am living. I don’t ever show my irritability around her. I asked my translator to not give me news at the orphanage anymore. I just don’t want her to catch a glimpse of the frustration and disappointment. I had every opportunity to walk away from here and this whole adoption – but I chose to stay for her. And, choose to stay until we go home. I don’t like it. I hate more than anything that this situation has overshadowed the joyfulness of this occasion. Maybe it is my fault for letting the situation and surroundings get to me. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone.

But, for whatever reason, I am having to deal with this particular situation. My prayer is I don’t walk away bitter. It is very hard not to be. This whole adoption has been so hard. It took almost 2 years. I had to wait 10 months for the appointment, then it was cancelled and I had to wait 42 days for a new appointment. Then, having to deal with the crap of this region. I know life is not easy and one shouldn’t expect any special favors – but I can’t help but think I am due. I am only human and the feelings I have may disappoint others – but until you have walked in my shoes – no judging. On one hand, God has been very gracious and I am blessed beyond means to have this particular child. She is beautiful, healthy, very active, and exceeds my expectations of what I thought I “deserved”. But, sometimes I think why did God feel the need to test me beyond my limits. He took my fertility. And, I waited so long for this happen – and everything that could went wrong. Why did he feel the need to allow this situation to occur? These days I feel so defeated by this whole event. Did He not think I would appreciate this child? Did He not think I would think she is worth it? Only those who have been through this process would know how it is a whole testament of faith. I had the faith so strong in the beginning – now I feel I just exist day to day. I don’t mean to sound like I am whining (but maybe I am) – I am ready to be home.

I wish there was something exciting to post. But really there isn’t. Today is woman’s day here and everything is closed. I am just hoping all goes well tomorrow and we can get a real court date – and it goes well so we can get home.

Just a Quick Update

I have several blog updates to post - but the internet cafe wised up to what I was doing and now have disabled the USB ports. Ooops - my bad. Anyway - We had court on March 9 - and I am the official mama to Zoey Alyssa Hanks. The judge told me I could not give her back! Mom and I still laugh at that - we think she may have met her. : ) She is such a hard-headed little toot - but you will be happy to know that I have many years ahead of her on the hard-headedness and strong will - so I have won most battles thus far.

We are suppose to get the court decree on the 21st - then spend the day getting the birth certificate and passport. Then, we are planning on leaving for Kiev on the 22nd. Then, leave for DALLAS, TEXAS on March 25th. This whole plan hinges on the judge getting us our court decree on the 21st in the morning. If it is that afternoon - then we might get pushed back a day or two - then have to worry about airline availabilty. But, we are praying we get the decree on morning of 21st.

I will post my blogs about court and following days once I get to Kiev! Until then - Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

March 3 – Another Month in Ukraine

Well, let’s see. When I met Zoey on February 6 – she weighed 8 kilos and was 75 centimeters tall. On Tuesday February 28 – she weighed 8.7 kilos and was 78 cm tall!!!!! Look at that – a little growth spurt from love and food. I give her 2 snacks each day – milk, yogurt, crackers/biscuits, and fruit. She loves her food and looks forward to those snacks. She is so cute. I give her raisins sometimes, and I let her pick them from my hand. So, now she tells me she wants raisins or a snack by holding out her hand and acting like she is picking raisins from her hand – then she tries to get my attention. It is so cute. Of course she is smiling and flashing those long lashes at me – awwww – how could I say no? Also, when she knows it is snack time – she runs to the couch and “assumes the position” and is so excited. We get such a kick out of that!

Well, I got news yesterday that my court date is on March 9. I need prayers big time for this date. 1) The judge will soften her heart. 2) She will show up. She has not showed up for some court appointments and has been horrid to people. That is about all I know right now. Also, March 8 is Woman's Day and we have been told people usually take the next day off too. So, I am not feeling too positive about this.

We got a burst of spring last week (it was in the 30s) - now it is snowing, icy and frigid again. We have moved to a new apartment that is much cheaper than where we were. But, the other apartment was better. We are warm and well - so can't complain.

Also, at this new apartment they had scales. I have lost 15 lbs!!!!! Yeah me! That is drinking 2 cokes a day and too many M&Ms to count. So, I am cutting out the M&Ms - to see how much that helps. Yeah me again!

Again - prayers, prayers, prayers needed. God has to intervene for this miracle to occur.