Wow - I can't believe the end of the year is here. This year went so fast. These last few months have been event filled. I love my new job situation. I work for a company in a contract type role and it is the flexibility I love. The people are great. They realize right now I don't want to be climbing the ladder and accept the fact I just want to do my work and go home. God has blessed me tremendously with the job situation. I hope they continue to have projects to keep me busy. My plan is to work all I can and take July and August off. (unless I need to work for future time off for reasons noted below)
Zoey is still sleeping with me. I tried every suggestion every one posted. She is a hard-headed little toot. The only thing that worked for two nights was I told her the doctor said she could not sleep with me. She believed that --- then two days later wised up. I have been telling her that Santa will not come here if she is in my bed. She has been really worried - so she starts off the night in her bed - and comes to mine around 1 or 2. Finally she wised up and told me "duh, I will just sleep in my bed the night Santa comes and he won't know". Today, we went to visit Santa and I told him to tell her to sleep in her bed. She told him she did. I told her - Santa and Jesus know if you lie. So, she tells him --- "I sleep with mama, but when you come I will sleep in my bed so you can leave my barbie". I give up.
In early November, my wonderful, precious, incredible, best dog ever had to be put down. I still think about him. I miss him so much. He was an awesome dog. The best. Every one was sad, me mostly. Brinks was sad, and became destructive in the house. So, I decided to go ahead and get another dog. I didn't want a puppy or the potty training work -- so we went to the cocker rescue and found Norman. He is so sweet, and him and Brinks are fast friends. Our family is whole again, but will never be the same without Spencer.
I have started the process again. I will have a new blog set up after the first of the year to track that adoption. I will be going to Kazakhstan. I thought for so long Russia was the place --- but in the end I feel God is leading me to Kaz. He and I are still arguing over 1 or 2. So, we will see over the next few months what is in store for us. Please keep us in your prayers. It is hard being a single mom, and I question daily whether I should adopt more. But, I don't feel my family is complete.
My nephew left this week for Iraq. Though I know he is in God's hands, I worry a little about him. I have no faith in our incoming government and am very disappointed in the outcome of November's election. America as we knew it is about the end. I thank God he has chosen me to be a child of his fold, as during these times I would not want otherwise.
I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Christmas and New Year. Stay tuned for a new chapter.
Jennifer and Zoey
OK -- I need guidance. Other's thoughts. Someone to tell me to get over it. Or, some reason as to why Zoey needs to sleep in her own bed. Here is the deal. Zoey slept in her bed with no problems until last Christmas -- right about the time we got back from Ukraine. Of course in Ukraine - we slept together every night of the 12 days we were there. We came home - she slept in her bed fine. Then, my parents took her to a Christmas light display - and there was a Grinch display there. She was terrified. That is the reason she says she needed to sleep with me. At the old house - she said he looked at her through the window. (on 2nd floor - and my bedroom was just down the hall) Since then --- I fight with her every night to get her out of my bed. At the new house - her bedroom is upstairs and mine is down. She usually waits for me to go to bed - then comes down and gets in my bed. I was walking her back upstairs for a long time. But, she'd come right back down. Then, repeat. I'd do this 3 or 4 times a night --- then I'd get tired of it. We were both suffering from lack of sleep. The interruptions were causing me to lose a lot of sleep --- cause I have trouble going back to sleep once I am up.
I am to the point where I am tired of fighting it. This last week ---I said to heck with it --- and just put her in my bed to start with. Here are my observations.
1) She goes right to sleep. If I put her in her bed, she comes down stairs, needs water, needs kisses, hugs, to pee, to tell the dogs goodnight, etc. You get the drift. It takes her like an hour to go to sleep. There was a lot of yelling going on with this method.
2) She gets more sleep. Her bedtime is 8pm. She was waking as soon as it hit daylight and basically getting about 7 to 8 hours of sleep. And, was a holy terror. At school, at home, etc. When she sleeps in my bed. She goes to sleep at 8pm --- and has been sleeping till like 8:30 or 9am. THAT IS HUGE. She has never done that.
3) Her behavior is more tolerable as she is not so tired. She doesn't act out. But, she wakes up wanting to know if she can sleep in my bed all night again the upcoming night. It seems to occupy her every thought. She is so worried she will have to sleep in her bed. She asks me about it on the way to school, on the way home, during dinner, after dinner --- it is a constant thought for her.
So what is my problem? She isn't the greatest sleeper. She gets very restless and thrashes during the night and it drives me crazy. Though I have to admit --- since she has been in there the whole night -- it is subsiding. I have a sleeper couch - she won't sleep on it. It is beside my bed. She says my bed is very comfortable. (and it is) Also, I don't want her sleeping with me forever. My parents tell me all the time I slept with them till I was 16. But, I didn't - though I remember being about 8 to 10 and slipping into their room. Be that as it may --- I don't want her to repeat my bad habit.
OK - what does everyone else think. Am I being too uptight? She is 4. I'd like her in her own bed. I am not married or cohabitating. Of course, I still have hope God is going to drop a man in on me someday - so I don't want her there when it finally does happen. :) So, what is the harm? I know it is a security thing with her --- I can tell by the way she sleeps that she feels very secure in my bed. I thought by having Jasmin upstairs with her --- she'd feel better about being upstairs --- but she doesn't.
Also, Jasmin is doing well. She is starting to make friends. She is warming up to Zoey and being a lot more interactive and helpful with her. Some days I want to ship her home (she is a teenage you know) --- but mostly she is a keeper. Really helpful around the house and good sense of humor.
BTW --- My contract company found me work --- so I start on Monday 10/27 working on projects. It is project based work --- which is fine by me --- and the first project lasts for 4 weeks. I just hope they find me continuous work and I can keep it up. I know a lot of you have prayed and I have felt the prayers --- thank you so much!
Happy Halloween.
We went to the Arboretum today to see the pumpkin patch. It was pretty fun. Zoey had lots of fun dancing and twirling around the park. We went with our friends Whitney and Maria - Maria was adopted from Ukraine in February of 2008. She is cute as a button and Zoey tries to mother her. Calls her baby Maria. It is funny to watch Zoey with younger kids.
I know - I haven't posted in a while. So much has been going on. We have been getting settled in our new home. There is lots to do here in our community - but swimming is #1 with Zoey. So, usually we go swimming 3 to 4 times a week. We go to the parks, ride bicycles, etc. It really is a nice place to live. I hope I can afford it --- as I got laid off from my job this month. Other than having a paycheck come in --- it was not the job for me and I am surprised I lasted two years. From day one --- I knew I had made a mistake --- but tried to make the best of it. So, much of my days are spent looking for a job. I am hopeful to have something soon --- at least consulting work. In my field, there is a lot of travel involved and obviously I can't do that any more - so it is harder to find no travel jobs. But, I feel good that I will find something.
Our exchange student comes in two weeks. We are very excited. We have been communicating by email for a while and she seems like a great girl. Zoey is overly excited to have a big sister for a year. She asks me every day if today is August when Jasmin comes.
I went to NC with my friend Stefanie two weeks ago. It was my first trip without Zoey. I have to admit. I had fun. Freedom for 6 days. I almost didn't want to come home. But, I missed my baby. We had fun at the beach and just acted pure crazy. Girls only. Very fun.
Here is a picture of Princess. And, Brinks and Spencer. And my bed - which I am not in. Cause I can't find room for me. This is why I wake up in a cranky mood. Someone is always kicking, pawing, or drooling on me. You can't see the clock --- but is says 11:35pm.
Hope every one is having a great summer!
So here’s another update for the Hanks household. So much has happened. Where do I start? Well, we got moved into our new house. It was such a whirlwind. My old house sold on March 27 (closed on April 10) and I was in my new house on April 11. We love the new house and all of the space. The back yard is an oasis. We spend a lot of time out there playing. The community has many parks, a water park, swimming pools, fishing ponds, golf, etc. We have lots to do to keep a 4 year old busy.
Zoey turned 4 yesterday – but we celebrated her birthday over the weekend. We had the family at the house for a cook-out, and for her friends – it was Peter Piper Pizza. That was awesome as I had no clean-up. And, Zoey loved it. Of course the party was all Dora. She is loving Dora these days.
I took some time off in March and April --- just to get caught up and get some thinking out of the way. It came at a great time – as the house sold. Anyway, I decided to have surgery done for a life-long problem and went into surgery on Tuesday of this week. I am healing fine and feel good right now. Zoey is with my parents. I go back to work on Wednesday of next week.
Also, during that time – I decided to have a foreign exchange student come live with us for a year. So, on August 15 – Jasmin from Finland will be moving in. Zoey is so excited. Except periodically she gets confused as she has a friend at school named Jasmine and she thinks she is coming to live with us.
I want to adopt again – but right now Ukraine is closed to me. Russia is too expensive (though still my main option) since I just laid out all my cash getting moved in. The house didn’t need many changes to make it feel like mine – but I had to have wood floors installed where there was tile. It was a huge area of white tile and after a few weeks – I couldn’t stand how dirty they got. The wood floors were finished on Tuesday of this week and they are beautiful. We are home.
That's our update for now. Stay tuned. I will have a teenager living with me in 2 and a half short months.
Well, I wrote an update last week - and my computer crashed (or I might have fell asleep at the keyboard). Nonetheless, I lost the write-up. March is a very special month in the Hanks household as the 9th is Zoey's gotcha-day. The 21st was Zoey's last day at the orphanage, and the 25th we arrived home. I cannot believe it has been two years. The time is just flying by. My baby is a young lady now. A girl - no longer a baby. (tears, tears) How did this happen? I find myself going down the baby aisles at stores - refusing to let her grow up. She will be 4 in two months. So young, but growing up too fast.
Meanwhile, I think my house finally sold. They are doing the inspection today and we close next week. I have to be out by the 12th ---- and I still don't have a house. Zoey asks me every day "Did you find our new house yet?" I think she took it seriously when I told her we might be homeless. She was more concerned about the TV and her toys - what would happen to them? I do think I have found the house I want --- but not sure how soon the people can get out. If they want to sell (like I did) - they will get out fast. :) Hopefully, I can get into my new house, then start the homestudy process again and get going on my next adoption. Where ever it might be from. I am still not sure what country I will go to. Hopefully Ukraine will mellow out and I can go back there.
Easter was good. My parents came up and went to church with me and Zoey. Then, we met my brother and his family for lunch. It was a quite day. (well, that might be a little exagerrated but we will go with it)
How's Moose doing? Who's Moose you ask? Well, that would be Doberman puppy Brinks. He is so huge, we have nicknamed him Moose. He is a big ole baby stuck in a 100lb body. He is so strong too. He basically just nudges Zoey and she falls over. It is so funny when she tries to tell him to behave.
Speaking of which, Zoey got on the scales 2 days ago and weighed 26.5 lbs. She has weighed 24lbs since December 2006! I am so ecstatic. She loves Taylor Swift these days - and tells me daily she wants to be Taylor Swift. At least she is a good role model (though she does say a few bad words in her songs that Zoey emphasizes when she sings).
As you can see, I am doing a little modernizing to the blog. I will try to add more videos later. Meanwhile, tonight after Zoey got out of the bathtub, Goma called (since she could talk, she has called my mother and daddy Goma and Gopa). She wanted to talk to Goma - and as I was picking up stuff, I turned around and this is what she looked like.
Well, I promised an update on our trip to Ukraine – so here goes a month after the fact. (HEY! Life Happens) Anyway, Zoey calls Ukraine Mykraine. But, when we got to Ukraine and met up with friends it was Ourkraine. She tells me it is “Yourkraine”. It is so cute to hear her justify whose “kraine” it is.
We had a great time – but it was a hard trip. Actually, it was an awesome trip. Zoey and friend Peter did exceptionally well on the trip – all things considered. The trip was hard, fast, frustrating and emotional. But the kids handled it with such grace (as much as 3 year olds can!)
I decided I have a love/hate relationship with Ukraine. I love the country, its people, my friends there, the kids, the architecture, the culture…….but I’m not so in love with the ways, means and bureaucracy to get things done. The basic, ordinary, day-to-day ways of life are so difficult. And, it is really expensive there now – which creates more problems (not just for visitors, but for those living there). It is a sad/hard way to live.
Zoey and I left on December 4 and met with my friend Stefanie and Peter in New York. We then flew from JFK to Heathrow – then on to Kiev. Long flight, but the kids slept some and really acted well. We landed in Kiev around 1:30 on the 5th. My wonderful friend Bogdan met us at the airport and took us to our apartment, which was very nice. Really close to the city center.
We spent a few days in Kiev visiting friends and wondering around seeing the sights. The, on Saturday morning we left for Dnipropetrovs’k. We arrived around noon and Stefanie’s friend Denis picked us up and took us to an apartment near the orphanage. We unloaded our stuff then went to the orphanage. It was so awesome. Tears were flowing. Everyone remembered us and the kids and could not believe we returned. One of the first persons to greet us was the woman who brought Zoey in the day we met. She couldn’t believe how much she had grown. We spent some time with the Director. Then, went to visit the groupas. I couldn’t believe that a lot of the same kids from Zoey’s groupa was still there. Most of the same caregivers were there too – but some had left for other jobs since the number of kids at the orphanage has declined due to fostering. We had a great time visiting that day.
On Sunday, we got up and our goal was to see if we could track down Zoey’s birthparents and do some shopping. We went to the last address I had for them, but were told they were in the city. (for who don’t know --- I made contact with the birthparents about 4 months after returning from Ukraine in 2006 and have made one other contact with them in April 2007) We left a phone number for them to call us, but I never expected to hear from them. After leaving there – we went to do some searching for Stefanie and Peter. Then, we went to an art bazaar and did some shopping. By time we had done all the running around --- it was around 4pm. Since it was so late, I suggested we look for a place to eat – then we could just go home and not have to worry about food. So, we tracked down my pizza joint in Dnipro – and it was still there. We were enjoying the meal – when Denis’ phone rang. It was Zoey’s birth parents. They wanted to meet me. They did not know Zoey was in country and I was not going to tell them. Anyway, I started getting nervous. I had left this to God. My biggest question that never got answered was – did the birth mother want to know how Zoey was doing over the years. Or, did it hurt her to know. I wanted to know and hear for myself. Deep down, I have had mixed feelings since hearing the reasons Zoey was given up. You know these stories are never easy – but part of me tormented myself over the whole situation. Anyway --- my mind was racing as we were driving to meet them. That was the longest 15 minutes ever. The driver dropped me and Denis off at a McDonalds (public place) – then he took Stefanie and kids around the block and parked. As Denis and I were walking around – I was scanning the crowd. He didn’t know what they looked like, but I did. When I spotted them, a lump came up in my throat. As I walked toward them, I think they recognized me from some pictures I left for them earlier in the day. The birth father immediately shook my hand, but the birth mother held my hand, as I did hers for the longest time. She just starred at me and me at her. I never fully imagined what to expect, nor ever thought what I would feel. It was such an emotional visit. We spent an hour talking and I got more details about them, their families, and Zoey’s birth. I will forever be grateful for that hour with them. 5 minutes after meeting them, I knew they were good people. And, I knew I would let them see Zoey. So, as we were leaving, I asked them if they’d like to meet her. They did. When they met her – the birth father cried openly, but the birth mother cried silently. Just tears falling from her face. I was crying, just seeing them all together and realizing the magnitude of what was happening. Zoey didn’t understand why I was crying, and thought the “man” had done something to me. It was so overwhelming, but I am at peace now. The birth parents are very happy she is with me, they are happy she is in America. And, they want to know how she is growing and what she is doing. And that makes me feel good.
The next day, Monday, we went back to the orphanage, and the daytime caregivers were there and we got to see mine and Zoey’s favorite caregiver. She screamed when she saw us. She was so wonderful and I am glad we got to see her. We took the kids fruit and yogurt for their snacks and took some toys and shoes that Stefanie had collected.
All in all, the trip to Dnipro was worth every bit of hardship we experienced while in Ukraine. I am so glad I met the birthparents and see the caregivers again. We got up early Tuesday and went back to Kiev and wound up taking it easy. Wednesday, we got up and went to visit my friend Bogdan at Orphanage 12. We got to see all the improvements they had done there. It was incredible the changes that were made since the last time I was there. After the visit, we left for the airport.
I am so glad we went to Ukraine. I am thankful for the many friends I have made there. The weather was even half way decent. A little cold, but no snow. However, I think next time we will go in the spring.
With our favorite caregiver at BH#1
With Luba, my translator from adoption
Ok - so it has been a while. It just seems life catches up with you, then you get behind, then you get way behind trying to dig out --- then the task seems overwhelming. Life with a sassy, defiant, but charming 3 year old is never boring. Nor is it all that easy doing it alone. But, we take it a day at a time.
What has happened in the last 3 months? Well, princess woke up one day and said "I poopoo on the potty now" --- and we have never went back. That has been about 2 months now. I am over thrilled. Don't know the deciding factor for her --- but it was night and day. I was sick of poopy diapers. Now, of course --- the challenging side of all this is her fascination with EVERY public bathroom in the world. If anyone even says a word close to potty - she has to go. Though, some times she just wants to go and touch everything and see how grossed out and fussy I get.
We went to Maui in September. Had fun, but a little challenging (like the positive spin I use with this word?). (what I really want to say is traveling with a toddler on an 8 hour flight with no nap is like having a root canal, hysterectomy, and lobotomy without anesthesia --- -but I didn't want to sound so negative) I swore I'd never get on another airplane with her again........but like adoption paperwork, adoption waits, and 93 days in Ukraine - you soon forget the pain. (Or, did I miss the lobotomy?) We are headed to Ukraine in 3 weeks. I have been wanting to see my sponsored child in Kiev and visit friends. So, off we go. We are going with my friend in NY and her little boy --- and we can't wait to see them too. Gonna be an adventure with 2 toddlers on a 9 hour trip. Back to Maui - it was so awesome in lots of ways. The first time Zoey had waves come across her little feet --- she just giggled and screamed --- I got little tears just thinking where she came from and how well she has adjusted.
In early October - we got a new addition to the family. Brinks, our new doberman puppy. I think he was born bigger than Zoey is now - and now he about towers over us. And, he will only be 3 months old next week. He's gonna be big. But, we love him. The first couple of weeks were tough - he used Zoey as a chew toy --- but we have got him diverted now. Of course Spencer (my older cocker spaniel) probably has it out for me. I know he is thinking...... "first, the kid; now the puppy"!
Halloween was fun. This year - Zoey knew what to do and what to expect. It was fun watching her get the loot. Funny thing --- when she'd go to a house she'd say "trick or treating". She insisted on taking two bags, so we had the drama of which bag the candy goes in. Oye!
As for the adoption of #2 - I am putting that on hold for right now. I have been trying to sell the house - but with all the mortgage problems - things aren't moving these days. I did get an offer and waited it out --- but the buyers backed out 2 days before option period was up. So, right now we are taking a break. I know I am going to move --- so I will wait to see how things fall out before I start the process.
While in Ukraine - I will be blogging - but probably with no pictures till I get home. I am hoping for a fun visit. Since there will be no pressure from adopting or the sorts, it should be great. We are going back to Dnipropetrovs'k - to take the kids to visit the orphanage. I can't wait to see everyone there. I just can't believe it has been almost 2 years since I left for my adoption. My time flies.
Happy Thanksgiving to You all! More updates later.
Hands on Hips - her famous pose
Zoey and Brinks
My angel at Halloween
I can't believe today is August 1. Just yesterday it was May, Zoey's 3rd birthday, then surgery. (I had a complete hysterectomy for medical reasons on June 11 - but recovered really fast) I had 6 weeks off work for recovery (5 weeks of which rain fell all day). I had big plans to take Zoey to the water park and Zoo --- but it rained too much. So, basically I got a lot done around the house. I have my house on the market and hope to sell soon. I have found several houses I love and but have to wait until mine sells. I am going to move forward with the adoption of a second little girl after I get settled in to a new place. I have decided I am going to try Ukraine again. That is where my heart is and where my baby's heritage lies - so I have high hopes for her sibling to share that bond. So, off we go again! Once that time comes - I will open a blog for that child - because I am keeping the blog logs for their memory books.
Zoey meanwhile had her 3rd birthday check up. She is 24.4 lbs and 35.25 inches tall. My doctor says she is doing great and healthy as they come. I wish she weren't so stinking tiny. Potty training is not going that well. She will do #1 on the potty - but not #2. Also, she has a tendency to be hard-headed and just not go "cause I didn't want to". Her standard answer to anything these days is a roll of the eyes, shrug of the shoulders, and a "cause I didn't want to". Funny how when she has to go to her room and think things over - she all of a sudden wants to do whatever is being asked. How do they become so stubborn at 3?
Also, she comes home frequently and tells me she has a brother or sister. It changes daily. I always correct her and say sister. I don't think she really understands what a brother or sister entails (i.e. -- she will have to share me, her toys, her puppy, etc)
Here are some recent pictures. She is growing up before my very eyes.
Zoey wanted her picture taken in front of the flowers in the driveway on Sunday before church. I told her let's wait until mommy cleans out some weeds --- she didn't want to wait. How cute is this kid?
Well, I was going to go private - but several of you griped about logging in - fine - I will keep the status quo. A lot has happened since the last time I blogged. We had Easter, our first plane ride since coming home from Ukraine (which I keep telling myself is the last - but low and behold I go booking more trips), and graduated to the 3s in preschool. WooHoo!
Last year at Easter - Zoey didn't know about that looking for the thingee -- but this year - sister fought for the eggs. She cracks me up. My cousins 2 kids came to my parents house and we let them hunt eggs, and Zoey decided when they set their baskets down --- that she had found more eggs (and you know a fight ensued). Anyway - was a nice day.
The weekend after Easter we went to Cincinnati, Ohio. We met up with our friends the Bottos from Kentucky (they live about 5 minutes from CN) who adopted a little girl out of Kiev and the Senkiw-Krebs family. Stefanie adopted Peter from the same orphanage as Zoey. We had an awesome weekend and it was so amazing to see how much these kids have grown and changed since Ukriane. I spent the night with the Bottos on the first night, then we met Stefanie and Peter at a resort for the weekend. This was a great place. They have an indoor water park - HUGE. We took the kids --- and Zoey loved it. She still talks about the plane ride and water park.
The plane ride was an adventure in itself. Miss Hudini managed to get out of the seatbelt no matter how we strapped it. And, for grins - we screamed and kicked the seats in front of us. We cried. On the way back - same thing. Acutally, a guy in front of me turned around and asked "Have you heard of Benadryl?" Yes sir I have - it has the opposite effect on her. Man - "You haven't found the right dose - keep trying". If I wasn't so stressed - I would have thought that was funny.
What do I do --- come home and let a friend in Ft. Lauderdale talk me into coming to visit. So, next weekend - we try this again. This time --- I am taking a car seat. I am excited as we get to visit with the McCues and Blancos. The McCues adopted in the same region as us - but different orphanage --- and Lourdes adopted a little girl in Zoey's orphanage. Should be fun.
Also, in preschool Zoey is moving up. She will be in the 3's class starting on Monday. Zoey will be 3 on May 22. So, we are having her party on the 26th at a local waterpark. She is so excited.
Things are rocking along. It is mighty tough being a single mom. Being the sole discipliner. Being the sole income provider. I never knew in my wildest dreams how hard this was going to be. Some times I feel so overwhelmed. I wish for the life of me I had time each day for me. I am still trying to figure out how I can do this --- but right now no solutions. If anyone has advice - I am open to hear it. How can I make her play by herself and "get off me" -- she has to be up my rear every minute we are together. It is so hard.
Zoey is very strong willed and if she doesn't get her way --- a meltdown ensues. A friend of mine saw a meltdown today - and was like "girl - you better get a handle on that!" Geez - I know and I am trying to be consistent - but I got my work cut out for me. Some days I am just so tired I just walk away.
Will write more later and post some photos - but want to ask other parents and make sure can post their kids with Zoey.
Happy Memorial Day!
Jennifer
I am going to be restricting my blog to only readers that have permission. If you are still reading this blog and would like to continue, please let me know by e-mailing me at jhanks16@tx.rr.com and letting me know. I will start this in about a month. If you are family, friends, or a friend of the family that likes to keep up, please let me know. I will need your name and e-mail address and will send you information on how to log into the blog the same way you did before only now with a password.
On March 25, 2006 - Me, Mom and Zoey stepped off a LONG flight at DFW to a welcoming crowd of friends and family. I was already in tears after landing --- I could barely contain myself. I was happy, tired, stressed, nervous - and ready to get to my house. I am working on writing up the "real" last year. Meanwhile, here are some pictures of my precious baby - who is becoming a big girl.
