Mykraine, Ourkraine, Ukraine

Well, I promised an update on our trip to Ukraine – so here goes a month after the fact. (HEY! Life Happens) Anyway, Zoey calls Ukraine Mykraine. But, when we got to Ukraine and met up with friends it was Ourkraine. She tells me it is “Yourkraine”. It is so cute to hear her justify whose “kraine” it is.

We had a great time – but it was a hard trip. Actually, it was an awesome trip. Zoey and friend Peter did exceptionally well on the trip – all things considered. The trip was hard, fast, frustrating and emotional. But the kids handled it with such grace (as much as 3 year olds can!)

I decided I have a love/hate relationship with Ukraine. I love the country, its people, my friends there, the kids, the architecture, the culture…….but I’m not so in love with the ways, means and bureaucracy to get things done. The basic, ordinary, day-to-day ways of life are so difficult. And, it is really expensive there now – which creates more problems (not just for visitors, but for those living there). It is a sad/hard way to live.

Zoey and I left on December 4 and met with my friend Stefanie and Peter in New York. We then flew from JFK to Heathrow – then on to Kiev. Long flight, but the kids slept some and really acted well. We landed in Kiev around 1:30 on the 5th. My wonderful friend Bogdan met us at the airport and took us to our apartment, which was very nice. Really close to the city center.

We spent a few days in Kiev visiting friends and wondering around seeing the sights. The, on Saturday morning we left for Dnipropetrovs’k. We arrived around noon and Stefanie’s friend Denis picked us up and took us to an apartment near the orphanage. We unloaded our stuff then went to the orphanage. It was so awesome. Tears were flowing. Everyone remembered us and the kids and could not believe we returned. One of the first persons to greet us was the woman who brought Zoey in the day we met. She couldn’t believe how much she had grown. We spent some time with the Director. Then, went to visit the groupas. I couldn’t believe that a lot of the same kids from Zoey’s groupa was still there. Most of the same caregivers were there too – but some had left for other jobs since the number of kids at the orphanage has declined due to fostering. We had a great time visiting that day.

On Sunday, we got up and our goal was to see if we could track down Zoey’s birthparents and do some shopping. We went to the last address I had for them, but were told they were in the city. (for who don’t know --- I made contact with the birthparents about 4 months after returning from Ukraine in 2006 and have made one other contact with them in April 2007) We left a phone number for them to call us, but I never expected to hear from them. After leaving there – we went to do some searching for Stefanie and Peter. Then, we went to an art bazaar and did some shopping. By time we had done all the running around --- it was around 4pm. Since it was so late, I suggested we look for a place to eat – then we could just go home and not have to worry about food. So, we tracked down my pizza joint in Dnipro – and it was still there. We were enjoying the meal – when Denis’ phone rang. It was Zoey’s birth parents. They wanted to meet me. They did not know Zoey was in country and I was not going to tell them. Anyway, I started getting nervous. I had left this to God. My biggest question that never got answered was – did the birth mother want to know how Zoey was doing over the years. Or, did it hurt her to know. I wanted to know and hear for myself. Deep down, I have had mixed feelings since hearing the reasons Zoey was given up. You know these stories are never easy – but part of me tormented myself over the whole situation. Anyway --- my mind was racing as we were driving to meet them. That was the longest 15 minutes ever. The driver dropped me and Denis off at a McDonalds (public place) – then he took Stefanie and kids around the block and parked. As Denis and I were walking around – I was scanning the crowd. He didn’t know what they looked like, but I did. When I spotted them, a lump came up in my throat. As I walked toward them, I think they recognized me from some pictures I left for them earlier in the day. The birth father immediately shook my hand, but the birth mother held my hand, as I did hers for the longest time. She just starred at me and me at her. I never fully imagined what to expect, nor ever thought what I would feel. It was such an emotional visit. We spent an hour talking and I got more details about them, their families, and Zoey’s birth. I will forever be grateful for that hour with them. 5 minutes after meeting them, I knew they were good people. And, I knew I would let them see Zoey. So, as we were leaving, I asked them if they’d like to meet her. They did. When they met her – the birth father cried openly, but the birth mother cried silently. Just tears falling from her face. I was crying, just seeing them all together and realizing the magnitude of what was happening. Zoey didn’t understand why I was crying, and thought the “man” had done something to me. It was so overwhelming, but I am at peace now. The birth parents are very happy she is with me, they are happy she is in America. And, they want to know how she is growing and what she is doing. And that makes me feel good.

The next day, Monday, we went back to the orphanage, and the daytime caregivers were there and we got to see mine and Zoey’s favorite caregiver. She screamed when she saw us. She was so wonderful and I am glad we got to see her. We took the kids fruit and yogurt for their snacks and took some toys and shoes that Stefanie had collected.

All in all, the trip to Dnipro was worth every bit of hardship we experienced while in Ukraine. I am so glad I met the birthparents and see the caregivers again. We got up early Tuesday and went back to Kiev and wound up taking it easy. Wednesday, we got up and went to visit my friend Bogdan at Orphanage 12. We got to see all the improvements they had done there. It was incredible the changes that were made since the last time I was there. After the visit, we left for the airport.

I am so glad we went to Ukraine. I am thankful for the many friends I have made there. The weather was even half way decent. A little cold, but no snow. However, I think next time we will go in the spring.