Leaving on a Slow Train, don’t know when I will be back again…….

Wednesday – Feb 15
Last night (Happy Valentines to me – the 14th) I had to take an overnight train to Kiev to be at the American Embassy before noon on the 15th. Seems the judge here in Dnipropetrovs’k does not like the paperwork that was approved by the NAC. (never mind I never could have adopted without the proper paperwork – I digress again…..) The judge here wants some crazy paperwork that is impossible to get or non-existent. One thing, an official document stating I have never been married. Another, proof my licensed social worker can do a home study for adoptions. Proof the Embassy will give Zoey a passport. My will – with the guardian for Zoey present (good thing it is my mother). And some other docs I am forgetting right now. It is so crazy. We have met several couples here who have been in the adoption process since Sept, Oct, and Nov – and still do not have all the “correct” paperwork. ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Kiev was cold and snowy today. I arrived at 6:10am – and we hit the road the running. We had to go to a café until the embassy opened. Once I got inside the embassy – I felt relieved. As close to the USA as I will get over here. Everyone was so nice and helpful. It took 30 minutes to get 6 documents in English and Ukrainian. (and didn’t cost a thing) I had to sign off on a few things – then we left to have the documents notarized and legalized. (geez – don’t get me started) Anyway, I caught a train back to Dnipropetrovs’k and was back at 9pm. What a day.

I did not get to see my precious baby today – can’t wait to see her tomorrow.
Yesterday I had a moment. I called my translator and told her I was going home. I couldn’t do this any more. I have said it once and will say it again – this is the hardest thing I have ever done. NOTHING is convenient and everything has to be expedited. I am so sick of it. But on the train ride home tonight, I was thinking about all the kids and one in particular (Zoey) --- she gets to get out of here and will have a life. And attention and love. She is very lucky. How she ever got registered I will never know. This orphanage does not put kids on the registry often, and most people won’t come here because of all the BS. I cried when I found out what region she was in – but I did not have a choice – and I am glad I did not. In the end – she melts my little heart. I need prayers because I don’t know how much more I can be here and I need strength – but I will be until she can go home with me.

Thursday – Feb 16
Oh what a day!!!!! I went to the orphanage to see Zoey – and when she came out she was smiling and screaming with happiness to see her momma. She came running up to me – it was so sweet. I guess she did notice that I was gone. I picked her up and she had peed her pants. They don’t allow the kids to wear diapers when they are in their group. Basically, after they eat and drink, they are required to sit on the potty until they go. It is funny to see 15 potties in a row with 15 kids sitting on them. So, we got her changed and out we went to play. After playing a while she gets tired, so I started singing to her today. She just laid there and let me rock her until she fell asleep. Then, she awoke, put her head on my shoulder, and went to sleep. I rocked her for a while then sat with her. Then decided to take her to her bed. When I got back to her groupa – the other kids started hitting on her and awoke her. She screamed bloody murder – then was awake.

Last weekend I bought her some new shoes, but the only ones I could find were expensive. The shoes she was wearing were too tight for her feet. But, I didn’t want to leave the shoes there or they might disappear. Anyway, today I put them on her – and as I was getting ready to leave I was about to take them off and she screamed and cried big ole tears. So, she got to keep them. When I came back in the afternoon – she had them on. But, when I went to undress her and pull off her pants – I had to remove a shoe and she wailed again.

Also, the other kids have started hitting and scratching her because she has a momma. I am about to kick some 2-3 year old butts. They are so mean to her. She is also the youngest in the groupa – so I just know they pick on her. There is one little girl who is nice to her – there are only 3 or 4 girls in her groupa – the other 11 or so are boys.

Friday – February 17
Actually, we had a warm up today. -18. I think I am getting use to the cold. That walk at 9:15am to the orphanage will do it to you. Although this afternoon, the wind was blowing and it was brutal.

I have a couple of gripes I need to get off my chest – then on to Zoey. First, each apartment we have stayed at it has been cold on the inside with not good heating. However, at our current residence – it is so hot in the apartment – I am sweating. As I sit here and type – I have a window open and it is still hot. It is miserably hot. When Linda says it is hot and she opens a window – you know it is hot. Next, with all the walking and lack of meals, my clothes do not fit. Can’t find a belt. And, all my pants are sagging. We took some photos of me – then laughed because my pants are resting on my hips. However, it is starting to tick me off. In my situation, I can’t afford to buy new clothes and you would not believe how expensive clothes are here. I can get a loaf of bread for .02 cents, a 20 oz coke for about .40 cents, washing detergent for .55 cents, 15 bananas for $1.00 and a large bag of jolly green giant mixed vegetables for .45 cents. But the other day, I saw this cute sweater – and thought I would buy it – until I priced it. $85. And, jeans are really expensive here – in the $100 range. Ho-hummm. Also, why does Colgate toothpaste cost $2.49 in the US and $.90 here? Anyone?

Today – Zoey was quite. Until we called a friend so he could talk to her – then she screamed. For the most part – she just played and tried to get her way. One thing I noticed is that she likes to play by herself. There are other kids there (other families adopting) and she doesn’t like to play with them. She will move off to a corner and play quietly. I wonder if it has to do with all kids in her groupa being mean to her and it is her way of protecting herself? I tried to get her to play – but mostly the kids do not share. I am going to have to work on that. Especially since she is an only child and we will be hanging together for a while.

Nothing much else happened today. My translator got my paperwork approved by the NAC yesterday and will be back in Dnipropetrovs’k on Sunday to appeal to the court on Monday for a court date. Prayers for a quick court date.

Saturday and Sunday – Feb 18/19
Nothing exciting this weekend. Saturday it snowed, rained and sleeted all in one afternoon. This made for a miserable walk to the orphanage Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning. But, I made it. It was actually warm today (Sunday). And, the snow is melting. This makes slush, which becomes black muck, which gets all over you. Oh joy.

I am having another moment today. I am so ready to be home. It is hard trying to bond with Zoey as there are 4 other families and their kids and all we get is a hallway to play with them. The kids hit and push. Zoey has started hitting and biting me when she doesn’t get her way. It is hard to control in the setting we are in. Ho hummmmmm.

Geez, I’d click my heels 3 times even if it landed me in Kansas. I just know I can walk to Dallas from there. Straight shot down I35! I want to be home so bad.

That is it. I am hoping we get hear news this week on a court date.