February 6 - Meeting Day

We spent the weekend trying to get my spirits up. I will say – I have met some incredible people in Ukraine. Kim and Mark Botto (I love you guys, you made me laugh so much) and Lisa and Rich Weatherby (Lisa your emails made me feel so much better and put my fears at ease). And of course, Hadas and Jonathon McCue (may God forever bless you – I love you both as family). Without these people – I would have been on a plane home last weekend.

We spent time on Friday (actually Luba my translator did) finding more info on the referral. Friday night I sobbed some more. Saturday woke up OK – got that lump in throat again on Saturday night. I knew a lot of people were praying for me – because I was heartbroken and thought my dreams of being a mother were wrapped up in a one shot deal. Sunday we left on the “bullet” train to Dnipropetrovs’k. I think bullet train in Ukraine means they shoot a bullet in the direction of region – and the bullet beats the train. It was by no means the fast train. I digress…..

I had decided by weekend end that I would accept the child if healthy because I was specific in my prayers and God had answered my prayers. I asked for a healthy, young girl. I didn’t specify skin, hair, or eye colors. I got what I prayed for.

Today – Monday started out slow. Until we showed our appreciation – then the 2 hours in line became a five-minute episode. Anyhoo – we finally arrived at the orphanage at 11:10. We went to the director – and had to wait. While waiting – mother and I set in the lobby waiting. Every time a child went by – mother went that is her…(even though a couple were boys) I kept saying no – then it happened.

I saw her – and started to cry – I knew it was her by the eyes. Mother saw her too – then saw me cry – then she cried. Before us was the most perfect baby God ever created. She is so beautiful. She has olive skin – but is not biracial. (they said they thought her father was Hungarian or Romanian (hence bi-racial???) In the director’s office – I just could not take my eyes off of her – how could a child be so perfect? Then, they handed her to me – and the past 21 months erased. All the paperwork, money, waiting, stress, emotions, time in Ukraine – it didn’t matter because I had the most beautiful and perfect baby – the best Ukraine had to offer was now mine.

I only got to see her for 30 minutes, but got to go back later in the day and spend more time with her as Dr. Yuri did an evaluation. (by the way – he is awesome and so good with the kids) She seems to have taken a liking to me. She is also ticklish and has the cutest laugh. She checked out healthy – praise God.

Speaking of which...I stand here humbly before God and ask the same question I ask when I thought he had forgotten me. Why me???? Why do I deserve this child? I never thought I would in a million years get a child such as this. Over the last few weeks and months of waiting – I kept asking why me? Why do you always forget me? Why am I last? Why don’t you care? Why do I have to wait? All those stupid questions – when the answer is because “I have a child in Dnipropetrovs’k waiting for you”. Gosh, I am such a control freak. Gary Ford from my adoption group told me a month into my adoption process - “don’t even think about going to Ukraine without God.” I just thought – yeah – I will pray for the adoption. That is not what he meant. He meant turning loose. Letting go. Letting God. My adoption is only a miracle God could make happen.

People – last Friday I thought it was over. Today – I rejoice. Had the director not yelled at me – I would have chosen a different child. I shudder to think what would have been. Thank you God for using the director to intervene so that I could receive such a blessing.

It is far from over. I am in the hardest region in Ukraine. I met a couple who has been in the process since Nov. 6 – waiting for a court date. It is not going to be easy – or cheap. I have been told to expect 30 to 45 days. But, I will trust God knows what is best. My mother and I are ready to come home. We are on day 49 and that is a long time. We are tired –this is a hard trip. But, I won’t leave this country without my daughter. So, keep the prayers coming for a quick court date and possible waive of the 10 day wait.

I don’t have computer access in the new apartment. So, I will see if I can post pictures soon. If not, I will email.